Cost Benefit Analysis Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

206 Results for Cost Benefit Analysis

View 61 - 70 results for cost benefit analysis comic strips. Discover the best "Cost Benefit Analysis" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart wrecking company, #special, #srushing, #new car, #parking lot, #cost, #monthly plan, #free model of car, #crush little one, #crush boss car

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands on Wally's desk, wearing a hardhat. Dogbert says, "I'm from the Dogbert Wrecking Company." Dogbert continues, "I'm running a special on crushing your boss' new car in the parking lot." Wally asks, "What does it cost?" Dogbert: "The first one is free." Dogbert adds, "If you're satisfied, I hope you'll consider my monthly plan." Wally is standing at the window with Dogbert, pointing outside. "It's the red one. He brags about it every day." The Boss is standing in front of Wally and Dilbert, holding up a model car. The Boss explains, "And when you spend that much, the dealer gives you a free model of your car!" There is a car horn heard off in the distance. Wally is slipping Dogbert a stack of bills. He adds, "And next month can you crush the little one on his desk too?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statistical analysis, #efforts and rewards, #sea of randomness, #devoid of purpose, #lactation

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: "I did a statistical analysis and found no correlation between my efforts and my rewards." "I felt adrift in a sea of radomness and absurd, devoid of purpose, lost." "And then I got paid and I purchased some unnecessary merchandise and now I feel fine." Wally: "Lactation can't be far behind."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #capital cost, #estimates, #clarify, #ruin the system

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, do yuo have the capital cost estimates I asked for last week? Wally: No, I always ask you to clarify what you need. You say you'll get back to me but you never do. The Boss: Maybe I could clarify it now. Wally: That would ruin my system.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dead squirrel, #insulting, #knitting sweater, #makeup, #meeting, #no potential benefit, #time management, #time management expert, #woman as example, #hideous outfit, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Time Management Expert Dogbert says, "Never put time into an activity that has no potential benefit." Dogbert says, "For example, why bother putting on makeup if you're going to wear that hideous outfit?" Dogbert says, "That's like knitting a sweater for a dead squirrel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cost estimates, #eyebrwo, #ghost, #recognize ghost, #helpful, #how to kill, #garlic and shopvac

View Transcript

Transcript

A man says, "Alice, when will I get your cost estimates?" Alice says, "When will your one eyebrow turn into two?" The man says, "Is that the ghost of the guy who used to have your job? He makes you look bad because he was always helpful." Alice says, "If you're so helpful, tell me how to kill you." The ghost says, "Dang... try garlic and a shop-vac."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magic button, #cost estimates, #push, #phrase, #swear

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "This is a magic button." Dilbert says, "Any time you ask for cost estimates, I push the button and it guides me." Button says, "Pull the numbers out of your?" Dilbert says, "It only says the one thing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #analysis, #idea, #suggestion, #complaining, #Advice, #greed, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lying, #bidders, #cost, #invoice, #bid, #crooked

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "This invoice is for twice as much as your bid." The Man says, "Duh. You wouldn't have given us the job if we told you how much it was really going to cost." Man says, "If it makes you feel any better, all of the other bidders lied too. We're just better at it."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #archaic sayings, #bite the hand, #cost of measuring, #direct deposit, #measuring incorrectly, #rock carving, #software development, #web design, #wise sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My management philosophy is 'measure' twice, cut once. Dilbert: That only makes sense in a narrow, and generally archaic, set of conditions. In software development, the item being cut, metaphorically speaking, is often plentiful and inexpensive. In many cases, the cost of measuring incorrectly is low compared to the time wasted doing two measurements before every action. Your philosophy is better suited for rock carving than web design. Do you have any wise sayings that involve churning your own butter, or putting saddles on dinosaurs?" The Boss: Don't bite the hand that feeds you. Dilbert: I have direct deposit."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #retirement plans, #for losers, #winners keep jobs, #no stress, #free coffee, #cost estimates, #worthless leech

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "Wally, what do you plan to do after you retire?" Wally says, "Retirement is for losers, Asok." Wally says, "Winners keep their jobs but stop caring about the quality of their work." Wally says, "I have no stress, free coffee, and I get paid, too." Wally says, "Watch how this works." Ted says, "Wally, can you give me some cost estimates for my project?" Wally says, "I'm too busy. Ask Dilbert." Asok says, "Doesn't this make you a worthless leech on society?" Wally says, "I'm pretty sure the winner in that example is the leech."