Search Results for "creative ideas"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
61 - 70 of 169

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2001's comic on:

Tags #process meeting, #solve problem, #develop process, #generating ideas, #meeting, #cross - discilinary, #swat team, #offsite meeting, #meeting as firewall, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok, The Boss, and Dilbert are sitting next to each other at a meeting. Asok raises his hand excitedly and says, "Ooh! Ooh! I know how to solve that problem!" The Boss replies, "Not so fast, Asok." Asok looks sullen as the Boss continues, "This isn't the solution meeting. This is the process meeting." The Boss continues, "Our goal is to develop a process for generating ideas to solve the problem." Wally turns to Asok and The Boss and says, "We don't know how to develop processes. Someone should have a meeting about that." Wally continues, "Someone like... a cross-disciplinary SWAT team in an offsite lockup meeting." The Boss says, "Hmm.. good idea." He then looks at Dilbert from the corner of his eye and finishes, "I guess this meeting is over." Wally continues to talk to Asok as they're walking out of the meeting. He says, "You see, Asok. You can only thwart a meeting by inventing other meetings to act as a firewall." The Boss approaches Asok at his desk and says, "Asok, I'm putting you on a cross-disciplinary SWAT team."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2000's comic on:

Tags #pet project, #isn't feasible, #working numebrs, #underlying reality, #massaged the numbers, #working, #numbers, #impossiblepossible, #new numbers, #other ideas, #fiddle with numbers

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, putting a paper on The Boss' desk, says to The Boss, "My analysis shows that your pet project isn't feasible." The Boss says to Dilbert, "Try working the numbers." Dilbert says, "That wouldn't change the underlying reality." The Boss asks, "What if we massaged the numbers?" Dilbert says, "Massaging the numbers means the same thing as working the numbers." Dilbert says to The Boss, "You can't make the impossible possible by hallucinating new numbers." Dilbert asks The Boss, "Do you have any other ideas?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "That depends on the the phrase 'fiddle with the numbers' means."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2013's comic on:

Tags #interviews, #mental health, #creative, #adhd, #dyslexia, #bipolar, #schizophrenia, #creativity, #normal is boring, #turning tables, #job interview

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for an employee who is creative. Interviewee: That's me. I have ADHD and dylsexia. I'm also bipolar and schizophrenic. Dilbert: Checking the Internet... Well... that's surprising. Each of his conditions is highly correlated with creativity. Interviewee: Are you a normal? Boss: I... think so. Interviewee: Wow. I feel sorry for you. It must be hard going through life without any creativity. Boss: What's happening here? Dilbert: It might be some sort of creative thing.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2013's comic on:

Tags #thinking, #eureka program, #best ideas, #dry hole, #dude ranch

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We are introducing our "Eureka Program" to recognize that the best ideas come from employees. Wally: I have ideas? Boss: Well, that was a dry hole. Wally: Can I turn my cubicle into a dude ranch?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2013's comic on:

Tags #competition (psychology), #thinking, #ceos technology challenge, #innovative ideas, #fresh water, #elbonia, #award winning ideas, #water in a box

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 02, 2013's comic on:

Tags #inventions, #meat, #thinking, #write ideas, #brainstorming, #lunch meat, #robot, #human, #confuisng

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Tina, I asked you to write up the best ideas from our brainstorming session. The top one on your list is "A Robot Made of Lunch Meat." That's basically just a human. Tina: What part of "Best Ideas" is confusing you?

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 10, 2013's comic on:

Tags #obstinacy, #public speaking, #thinking, #vet ideas, #peers, #hate ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've been asked to vet my idea with my peers. To save time, I am willing to stipulate that you hate all ideas that are not your own. All in favor? Alice: I hate this idea, too.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2013's comic on:

Tags #electronic mail, #thinking, #lack of creativity, #choke yourself, #creating ideas

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2014's comic on:

Tags #executives, #slapped ceo, #report says, #success is following your instinct, #being passionate, #engaged, #creative, #meaningful, #office meeting, #literal meeting

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2014's comic on:

Tags #frustration, #negative, #good communicator, #terrible ideas, #be more positive, #fixed now, #good job, #leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're being too negative lately. Dilbert: Am I negative or am I a good communicator surrounded by terrible ideas. Boss: Just try to be more positive! Dilbert: Okay, I'm all fixed now. Good job on the leadership.