Search Results for "daily water waster"
Share August 23, 2018's comic on:
The Boss: Wally, give me an update on your project. Wally: My project is dead in the water because every time I send you my budget request, you lose it and ask me to resend it. The Boss: I haven't seen any budget requests. Wally: I'll resend it.
Share May 31, 2011's comic on:
Boss: The company is considering moving from cubicles to an open workspace environment. Dilbert: Great idea. Can we add some crying babies and the sound of water dripping? Boss: You're being stupid. Dilbert: Maybe I'll be smarter when I have more distractions.
Share June 16, 2012's comic on:
Wally: Where can I go to enjoy some of the local debauchery? Elbonian: Aren't you worried that your personal behavior will reflect poorly on your company? Wally: How can I embarrass a company that plans to pollute your groundwater? Elbonian: Say what? Wally in Elbonia
Share April 06, 1990's comic on:
An Elbonian asks Dilbert, "How do we know you came to Elbonia just to teach us capitalism?" Another man says, "Yeah . . . Maybe you came to steal our secret process for making mud!!" Dilbert asks, "Dirt and water?" As Dilbert stands in the distance, an Elbonian says, "He knows . . ." The pig says, "We'll have to kill him."
Share October 28, 1992's comic on:
Dogbert sits in a chair across from a man. Dogbert says, "Every person has natural daily rhythms of mental peaks and troughs. We can use this knowledge to improve your performance." Dogbert hands the man a thermometer and continues, "We use hourly body temperature readings to identify and avoid the troughs." As the man leans back in his chair and waves his arms, Dogbert writes, "One o'clock. We have encountered a severe trough. I fear it could be the dreaded 'El Nino' trough."
Share January 30, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. The woman says, "I like a man who isn't afraid to cry." Dilbert puts his head on the table and sobs, "Waah! Waah! The prices here are so high! Waah! Waah!" Dilbert thinks, "It's not working. She tricked me." The woman looks at the menu and says, "I'll just have water, I think."
Share July 12, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert hands Dilbert a book and says, "I thought of another way to profit from the ignorance of humans." Dogbert explains, "I wrote 'The Dogbert Formula for Health.' I recommend a daily dose of food, sleep and exercise." Dogbert says, "And for only $19.95 you can buy the patented 'Dogbert Joggerobic Carpet Patch' to help you run in place."
Share September 11, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert walks through the house wearing an apron and thinking, "The water for my spaghetti should be boiling by now." Ratbert stands in the pot of water on the stove. Ratbert says to Dilbert, "Oops! You caught me. I usually finish hot tubbing before you get back." Dogbert sits on the hassock and Dilbert sits on the floor leaning against the hassock. Dogbert says, "It raises a big question mark about the capers." Dilbert asks, "Capers?"
Share June 09, 1994's comic on:
"If I start the project today and work nights and weekends it will take...oh, six months." "It has to be done in ONE month so we can show it to our VP on her annual visit." "I have to know; does it even cross your mind to handle this differently?" "I'll need daily status reports on why you're so behind."
Share July 04, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: Here's my daily project status report. Morale is low. There is talk of mutiny. we dream of quitting and becoming lifeguards on "Baywatch" Death to the pointy haired one. The Boss: Holy Cow! "Baywatch' is hiring??!