Data Center Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

200 Results for Data Center

View 61 - 70 results for data center comic strips. Discover the best "Data Center" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2000's comic on:


Tags #can't read, #ceo, #copies, #esearch, #hand off, #manage data, #no copies, #smother me, #documents

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says...: The CEO is sitting at his desk showing a folder to the Senior VP. The CEO says to the Senior VP: "The research supports my strategy." The CEO hands the folder to the Senior VP and says: "You can read the research but don't make copies." Senior VP says...: The Senior VP is holding the folder with both hands and says to the VP: "I can tell you about it but you can't read it." VP says...: The VP says to the Assistant VP: "I don't remember the reason but I'm sure there is one." Assistant VP says...: The Assistant VP is sitting at his desk and he says to the boss: "There's no reason." The boss, Wally and Dilbert are in a meeting and the boss says to them: "Our strategy is a huge mistake but we have to do it anyway." Dilbert is holding a suitcase and says to Dogbert: "After I fall asleep tonight, please smother me with a pillow." The CEO is sitting at his desk and thinks: "My people love me because I manage with data."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 12, 2003's comic on:


Tags #orchestra od data, #ironic spelling, #geneous mistro

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Wally, and a coworker are meeting. The coworker holds up a sign and says, "We named the product 'Geneousmistro' because it conducts an orchestra of data." The coworker continues, "Can you believe the domain name 'Geneousmistro' wasn't already taken?" Dilbert asks, "Is the spelling meant to be ironic?" The coworker replies, "Why do you ask?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 26, 2003's comic on:


Tags #million lines of code, #irrelevent data, #key your car, #no choice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 08, 2003's comic on:


Tags #send broadband, #send data, #sewer system

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our competitors found a way to send broadband internet traffic over the power grid. I want you to find a way to send data via the sewer system. Wally: I thought I was already doing it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #heart and sould, #high speed data, #talent pool, #in charge, #mentor, #panicking

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've put my heart and soul into the high-speed-data-by-sewer project. But I believe in developing outr talent pool, SO I recommend putting Asok in charge if the project, I will be his mentor, AsoK; wow! what should I do first? Wally: I wouldn't rule out panicking.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2004's comic on:


Tags #selling confidential data base, #customer information, #profitable, #virtually untectable, #highly unethical, #modern times, #facebook, #commercial, #branding

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Did you ever think about selling our confidential data-base of customer information? It would be massively profitable while virtually undetectable, Catbert: But highly unethical. The boss: I don't know you any more. Catbert: Im yanking your chain . when do we start?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #elbonian call center, #software in stock, #wear pants, #porcelain unicorn

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonian Call Center "We don't have that software in stock." "But may I interest you in a set of porcelain unicorn figurines that wear pants?" "Really? Wow. Your country has way too much money."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2004's comic on:


Tags #american accents, #dawg in chevy, #missles, #cafeteria, #call center, #elbonians

View Transcript

Transcript

Elbonia Call Center Remember to use your american accents! YEE- HAA!! lets put the dawg in the cherry! look at the size of my misses!! We only do it that way in the cafeteria. Opps sorry.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #deepest budget cuts, #death spiral, #data driven focus

View Transcript

Transcript

"The leadership team can't decide where to make the deepest budget cuts." "But don't worry. I offered to bring a systematic, data-driven focus to the process." "A death spiral goes clockwise north of the equator." "Budget cuts" "Research" "Design" "Sales" "Mancom"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 06, 2004's comic on:


Tags #problem, #valuable advice, #stare at screen, #death, #gather data, #blinded by obvious, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Try working around the problem. Dilbert: "Thank you for that valuable advice. I had planned to stare at my screen until I starved to death." The boss: "Gather data before making a decision." Dilbert: "GAAA! I've been blinded by the obvious!"