Days Of Our Lives Comic Strips - Page 7
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223 Results for Days Of Our Lives
View 61 - 70 results for days of our lives comic strips. Discover the best "Days Of Our Lives" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 29,
2017
Swear On The Lives Of Your Coworkers
Tags #lying, #swearing, #exaggeration, #deception, #accomplishment
Transcript
Wally: I achieved all of my milestones on my secret project this month. Boss: How do I know any of that is true? Wally: I swear on the lives of my coworkers. Boss: I'm getting a mixed message here.
Friday September 14,
2018
Virtual Reality
Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #days, #virtual, #trained, #hospital, #designer, #bed, #lazy
Transcript
Dilbert: After spending three great days in virtual reality, I accidentally trained myself to hate actual reality. Wally: What if this reality is actually another virtual reality, and you're really in a hospital bed somewhere? Dilbert: What kind of designer would make a reality with you in it? Wally: A lazy one.
Wednesday September 16,
2020
Trick Question
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #interview, #question, #trick, #blm, #black lives matter, #dismissed, #employment
Transcript
catbert: we added the following trick question to our interview process... do black lives matter? interviewee: yes, of course. catbert: say more about that. interviewee: i think all... catbert yelling and pointing: dismissed!
Tuesday January 12,
2021
The Moron Option
Tags #business, #technology, #corporate rule, #vendor, #accounts receivable, #30 days, #pay, #payment, #exception, #moron
Transcript
dilbert: our corporate rule is that we won't do business with any vendor who does not give us at least 30 days to pay. dilbert: but we can get the same product for half the price if we go with the vendor who wants payment immediately. should we make an obvious exception here or be morons? boss: i think you're under-valuing the moron options.
Tuesday February 23,
2021
Simulation Nonsense
Tags #business, #computer, #computer software, #days, #fast, #nonsense, #ruin, #simulation, #technology, #upgrade, #coffee
Transcript
tina: it feels as if the days are going by faster lately. dilbert: that's because we're a computer simulation that just got a software upgrade. tina: there's really nothing you can't ruin with that nonsense, is there? dilbert: i hear that a lot.
Thursday March 11,
2021
Pandemic Vacation Days
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #company policy, #video conference, #vacation day, #vacation, #company rule, #pandemic, #go, #solve, #problem, #laptop
Transcript
boss and dilbert on video conference call. boss: human resources is on my back to make sure everyone uses their vacation days this year. it's a company rule. dilbert: what's the point of a vacation if we can't go anywhere because of the pandemic? boss: i'm only trying to solve my own problem here.
Sunday September 04,
2011
Tags #administrative agencies, #control, #data, #delay, #frustration, #manipulate, #meetings, #time, #two weeks
Transcript
Woman: Wally, I need your data for my meeting in three days. Wally: Okay. It shouldn't take more than three or four days to pull it together. Woman: Not three or four days. I need it in three days. Wally: Okay. Three days. Not counting the weekend and the day I give it to you. Woman: That would be six days! Wally: Six or seven days. Tops. Woman: I need it in three days, not a week. Wally: That's no problem. A week or two at the most. Woman: Okay! You win! I'll reschedule my meeting for two weeks out! And you'll have the data in two weeks? Wally: Yes. Two weeks or so.
Tuesday September 06,
2011
Tags #office workers, #job interview, #work long hours, #14 hour days, #bad descions, #bad decision maker, #good communicator
Transcript
Interview Alice: Can you work long hours if needed? Man: Yes. It's normal for me to work 14 hours a day. Alice: Research shows that working long hours causes people to make bad decisions. So we know you're a bad decision maker. Are you a good communicator? Man: Is the right answer "no"?
Sunday October 09,
2011
Tags #anger, #frustration, #matrix comparing features, #skin in game, #bang head, #cause extra work, #value of time, #ninja economics
Transcript
Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!
Monday October 31,
2011
Tags #employees, #illness, #marketing people, #brain heals, #drank sludge, #brain worm, #dead in a week, #business
Transcript
Asok: Hi-ho, marketing people! I've been transferred into your department until mky brain heals. I drank some industrial sludge. But don't worry - I'll be able to shake it off in a few days. A little pollution can't hurt me. I grew up in India. This brain worm will be dead in a week, tops.