Decision Comic Strips - Page 7

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123 Results for Decision

View 61 - 70 results for decision comic strips. Discover the best "Decision" comics from Dilbert.com.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot

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"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #problem, #valuable advice, #stare at screen, #death, #gather data, #blinded by obvious, #medical

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The Boss: Try working around the problem. Dilbert: "Thank you for that valuable advice. I had planned to stare at my screen until I starved to death." The boss: "Gather data before making a decision." Dilbert: "GAAA! I've been blinded by the obvious!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #calculate expected value, #pretend to be dead, #cover ears

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Dilbert: The best way to make this decision is by calculating the expected value of each possible outcome. you multiply the... The Boss: Must pretend to be dead. Dilbert: I sense that were done here. The Boss: I hope the dead sometimes cover their ears.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #standardize dept.new programming, #language, #mass from hole, #objective, #vendor warning

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The Boss: "I've decided to standardize the department on a new programming language." Dilbert: "With all due respect, that sort of decision should be made by someone who knows his mass from a black hole." Dilbert: "The vendor warned me that you couldn't be objective."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"What type of meeting decision-making style will we be using today?" "Will it be authoritative, consultative, voting or consensus?" "Shut your coffee hole." "Well played."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"In order to make an informed decision, you would need to know as much as I know." "That's impossible. So instead, by mutual, implied agreement, I will feed you some lies that point you to the right decision." "If we don't upgrade our servers, a herd of trolls will attack headquarters." "No trolls!"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #death & dying, #insurance, #luck, #sales, #life insurance

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Bob, the unluckiest insurance agent. Bob: You're making a good decision. Man: Gaaak!

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choked pooch, #platform deciosn, #throw under bus, #very bad person, #regional idioms

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The Boss: Carl choked the pooch on the platform decision. I need you to throw him under the bus. Asok: He sounds like a very bad person, I will take care of that right away. I just found a website that kits regional idioms. Ive done some bad, bed things.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suspicion, #decisons, #office, #options, #blame later, #evil, #record on phone. boss, #work

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Dilbert: I need a decision of this by end of business today. Boss: Which option do you recommend? Dilbert: Nice try, but I'm not falling for it. You're trying to set me up to take the blame later. I want to hear you make a decision, and I'm going to record it on my phone so you don't later deny it. Talk, you evil monster! Talk! All I know for sure is that the other approach wasn't going to work either.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #public opinion, #feel engaged, #meeting, #appearences, #business

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CEO: Before I make my decision, I'd like to ask for your opinions. It's supposed to make you feel "engaged." Dilbert: And you actually plan to listen to us? CEO: I'm hoping it will look that way on the outside.