Defective Coworker Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

269 Results for Defective Coworker

View 61 - 70 results for defective coworker comic strips. Discover the best "Defective Coworker" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #discuss project, #civility is dead, #invited to meeting, #office

View Transcript

Transcript

Coworker: What's a good time to get together and discuss my project? Dilbert: Never. Every interaction I've had with you has been a waste of time. I have no reason to think it will be different in the future. Coworker: Sheesh! How did civility die? Dilbert: Maybe you invited it to a meeting.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #coworker, #the boss, #zimbu, #monkey, #zoo, #keepers, #special, #program, #insult, #intelligence, #workers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a monkey and says, "Dilbert, your new co-worker is Zimbu the Monkey." The Boss says, "Zimbu learned English from the zoo keepers in a special program." Dilbert says, "This monkey is an insult to the intelligence of the other workers and I!" Zimbu corrects Dilbert, "Other workers and 'me,' not 'I.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #straw, #loser, #kill, #abusive, #coworker, #floyd, #blue, #short, #murderer, #cheater

View Transcript

Transcript

Ted says to Dilbert and Wally, "Everybody pick a straw. The loser has to kill our abusive co-worker, Floyd." Ted says, "Dilbert loses. He picked the blue straw." Dilbert says, "I thought the SHORT straw loses." Ted replies, "You're already a murderer; don't be a cheater too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ratbert, #bob, #teamwork

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert rides on Bob the Dinosaur's back. Ratbert says, "What a team we make, Bob!" Ratbert continues, "Now I won't need to act pathetic to get love. I'll get all the spillover love that people naturally have for dinosaurs!" Someone says, "Eww! It's a huge lizard with a talking zit. I'm gonna be sick." Ratbert says, "Great . . . I got a defective dinosaur."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coders, #email, #meetings, #relevance, #spam filter, #wireframe, #wise counsel

View Transcript

Transcript

Based on a true story Coworker: I completed the wireframe and passed it off to our coders. Dilbert: That's great. Did you incorporate all of my specs? Coworker: I didn't see any specs from you. Maybe my spam filter ate your email. Dilbert: No problem. I'll resend them and you can start from scratch. Coworker: Yes, I certainly could do that. Or I could ignore your input, enjoy my deep feeling of accomplishment and hope for the best. Wally: That sounds easier. Coworker: I accept your wise counsel, Wally. I guess your search for relevance marches on.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alternatives, #analysis, #coworker not boss, #information, #urgent need, #analysis of alternatives, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

A man enters Dilbert's cubicle, hands him a document and says, "I need this information today. Plus a complete analysis of the alternatives." Dilbert crinkles the paper and stuffs it in the wastebasket. The man says, "That wasn't nice." Dilbert responds, "In today's lesson, you learn that you're my co-worker, not my boss."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #obnoxious, #useless coworker, #needed cooperation, #expiration date, #cologne

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice tells Dilbert and Wally, "I'm glad he quit. He was such an obnoxious, useless co-worker." Dilbert says, "We had to be nice to him because we needed his cooperatin." Wally yells, "The jerk!" Wally complains, "He should check the expiration date on his cologne!" Ed angrily thinks, "Next time, I will not give two weeks' notice."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coaching session, #never returned call, #obstacle course, #unpleasant coworker, #blissful, #productivity

View Transcript

Transcript

The caption says, "Office obstacle course." Dilbert walks down the hall. He sees another man and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's Phil. I never returned his call. Walk faster." Dilbert runs into the elevator as the doors close. He thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert peers around a corner and thinks, "Uh-oh, it's an unpleasant co-worker who wants to be my friend." Dilbert walks behind Wally and a woman and thinks, "The clever engineer blends with the herd to avoid detection." Dilbert stands by Alice's desk and thinks, "Uh-oh, I owe Alice some information." Alice's phone rings. As Alice answers the phone, Dilbert runs by her desk and thinks, "Yes!!" Dilbert looks behind him and thinks, "There's only one more obstacle between me and blissful productivity." The Boss comes around the corner. Dilbert runs into the Boss and shouts, "My whole day is ruined!!!" The Boss says, "It looks like you need a one-on-one coaching session."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #kill coworker, #employee manual, #award for cost saving, #evil hr director

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Alice sits in Catbert's office. Catbert says, "Alice, did you kill another co-worker?" Alice says, "Yes." Catbert looks in the Employee Manual and says, "But you did not discriminate, sexually harass, steal or take drugs. hmmmm.." Catbert says, "It looks like I have to give you an award for your cost saving idea." Alice says, "Thank you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #paul tergeist, #computer, #shoots up, #falls on head, #Dilbert, #coworker, #monitor head

View Transcript

Transcript

Paul Tergeist is sitting with Dilbert in front of the computer at Dilbert's cubicle. Paul says: "This technology will work or my name isn't Paul Tergeist." Suddently, the monitor rockets into the air. The two watch it with stupefaction as it ascends. The monitor lands on Dilbert's head. Paul says: "I wish I had a nickel for every time that happened to a co-worker." Dilbert simply says: "Ow."