Defective Products Comic Strips - Page 7
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165 Results for Defective Products
View 61 - 70 results for defective products comic strips. Discover the best "Defective Products" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday October 04,
2013
Tags #avarice, #executives, #products decline, #amrketing, #improving, #huge raises, #money
Transcript
Boss: Our products are getting worse every day. But our marketing keeps improving. We're very close to the point where our customers will give us money for no reason. Then we can give ourselves huge raises and do no work at all. CEO: I like everything you said, except the "we" part.
Tuesday November 05,
2013
Tags #burglars & robbers, #deception, #discrimination, #defective ones, #ski mask, #reading people
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you know who keeps raking my good cables and replacing them with defective ones? Alice: Certainly not me. But I did see an Elbonian wearing a hoodie near your bench. Dilbert: I'm not good at reading people. Alice: I'm counting on that.
Monday April 28,
2014
Tags #business people, #work ethic, #new line, #products, #business plan, #good track record, #useful, #accurate, #make up numbers
Transcript
Boss: I need you to write a business plan for our new line of products. Dilbert: Is that because business plans have a good track record of being useful and accurate? Boss: No, it's nothing like that. Dilbert: Good, because I plan to make up all of the numbers.
Saturday September 06,
2014
Tags #big business, #mergers & acquisitions, #worry, #short poition, #cartoon cat, #bloom county, #Comic Strip, #mantra, #bill ackman, #stocks, #defective people
Transcript
Dilbert: Bill Ackman just took a huge short position in our stock. Boss: I"m not worried about a cartoon cat from an old "Bloom County" comic strip. Dilbert: Maybe I care too much. Wally: That is the mantra of all defective people.
Saturday January 11,
2020
Old Strategy
Saturday April 04,
2020
Genius Marketing
Tags #business, #sarcasm, #products, #sales, #team, #shoddy, #incompetent, #marketing, #genius, #correct, #blush
Transcript
dogbert: your products are shoddy, and your sales teams are incompetent. but there is a theoretical amount of marketing genius that can fix all of that. boss: are you that genius? dogbert: please. you're making me blush.
Wednesday May 19,
2021
Elbonian Sweat Shops
Tags #business, #business ethics, #ignorance, #blowback, #press release, #condemn, #elbonia, #sweatshop, #issue, #products, #defense
Transcript
boss: we're getting major blowback on social media for your press release condemning elbonian sweatshop labor. ceo: it's an important issue. boss: it's also how we make all of our products. ceo: in my defense, someone should have told me that.
Wednesday April 13,
2011
Tags #appeal, #bad person, #business ethics, #comparison shopping, #guilt, #molt, #prevents competitors, #raising prices
Transcript
Dilbert: Our products only appeal to people who aren't good at comparison shopping. But I justify it because our existence prevents competitors from raising prices. Am I a bad person? Dogbert: I molt a little bit every time you talk.
Friday January 07,
2011
Tags #computer software, #ignorance (knowledge), #managers & supervisors, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to help us evolve our products to cloud computing." Dogbert says, "Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud." The Boss says, "It's as if your'e a technologist and a philosopher all in one!" Dogbert says, "blah blah platform."
Friday July 08,
2011
Tags #deterioration, #recessions, #20%, #competitive, #industry, #involve crime
Transcript
Boss: Our goal is to grow the top line by 20%. Dilbert: How will we do that with products that aren't competitive in an industry that isn't growing? Wally: Does it involve crime? Dilbert: If it does, blink once.