Delivery Man Comic Strips - Page 7

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #man, #outdoors, #Dogbert, #taser

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Dogbert sits on a rock. A man says, "Hey, little dog, smile. It only takes two muscles!" Dogbert zaps the man with a phaser pistol. The man screams. Dogbert says, "That took a few extra muscles, but I think it was worth it."

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #man, #taser, #radio traffic

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Dogbert stands at a man's door and says, "I'm looking for the idiot who does the radio traffic reports." The man says, "Speaking of idiots, only an idiot would want to be in this traffic!" Dogbert zaps the man and says, "That's for making me listen to inane segues."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbageman, #Dogbert, #taser, #trash, #outdoors

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Dogbert says to the garbage man, "Thanks for letting me borrow your phaser. I recharged the batteries." The garbage man says, "I hope you didn't use it in anger." Dogbert replies, "No, I was laughing most of the time. And I probably won't stop wagging until Tuesday." The garbage man says, "Good."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #Dilbert, #office, #man, #computer, #phone

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Dilbert stands behind a broken desk chair and says into the phone, "My chair is broken. Can you send a new one from the warehouse?" A man at a desk replies, "No can do, my friend. All we have is chairs with deluxe armrests. They're only for managers who are one level higher than you." The man says, "What do I suggest? I dunno . . . Maybe take some classes at night. I'm sure you can get promoted eventually."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bob, #Dogbert, #money, #shopping, #christmas, #man, #wedgie

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Dogbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Remember, Bob, it is better to give to Dogbert than to receive . . . Especially at Christmas." Bob replies, "But I don't have any income . . . Except for the coins people drop when I give them wedgies." Bob gives a man a wedgie and money falls out of his pockets. Bob thinks, "It seems like exactly the wrong season to pick up the pace on this sort of thing."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #hit man for mob, #get away with murder, #cute, #self complimentary, #conversation

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Dogbert: "Have you ever noticed how incredibly cute I am?" "Look at this little black nose, soft furry ears, adorable little tail...with these looks I could get away with murder." "I'm thinking of becoming a hit man for the mob." Dilbert: "I'm glad we have these little talks."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #important project, #marked man, #other employees, #throw bricks, #keep persepctive, #suck ups, #brick to the head

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Ted: I'm putting you in charge of an important project which is fully funded." Dilbert: Ima marked man, The other employees will either try to suck up to me for money or throw bricks at me. Ted: Buddy. Dilbert: The trick is to keep a protective ring of suck ups around at all times. Zip.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job pays, #headhunter, #move, #cold place, #drivers license, #look up gender, #phone call, #man, #inquiring about job

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Dogbert the headhunter Dogbert: The job pays a hundred thousand. But you'll have to move to a place thats so cold that mercury freezes. Man: I'll take it. How bad could it be? Dogbert: Keep your drivers license on you is you can look up your gender if you forget

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nineties woman, #man pay dinner, #slap a man, #threatening

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LIZ: I'm a nineties kind of woman. I demand equality but the man must pay for dinner. "And recent surveys show that many women my age think it's okay to slap a man." DILBERT: "Really? Did they name the man?" LIZ: "Don't make me come over there."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boot camp, #conquer the earth, #genetic mutations, #half man, #sea monkeys, #half cucumber

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"What are you planting?" "I'm growing an army of genetic mutants to do my bidding." "Half man, half giant cucumber, these unthinking brutes will help me conquer the Earth!" "Didn't you try this with sea monkeys last year?" "None of them survived boot camp."