Search Results for "discuss issues"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 15, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fixed bug, #meeting, #not inviting, #scheduling people, #accomplishment, #fixed the bug, #inviting, #business

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Asok says to the Boss, "My accomplishment this week was scheduling fifty people to discuss the bug in our product." Alice says to Asok, "I fixed the bug this morning." Alice continues, "And thanks for not inviting me to the meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2001's comic on:


Tags #leave work early, #doctor appt, #female issues, #get out of work, #worked, #80 hour week, #boss, #zombie

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Alice is leaving the office with her briefcase and her jacket. The Boss stands with his hands on his hips in the doorway behind her and says, "It looks like someone is leaving early." Alice turns and replies, "I started at 5 a.m. and I've already worked eighty hours this week." The Boss looks at her and says, "SO?" Alice replies, "I have a doctor's appointment...for female..." as the Boss puts his hands to his ears and yells, "No details! Go Go Go!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2002's comic on:


Tags #3 year anniversary, #first meeting, #project requirements, #probelm

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Dilbert addresses a meeting, "Today is the three-year anniversary of our first meeting to discuss project requirements." Dilbert continues, "And we're still discussing requirements. Does anyone else see a problem here?" A coworker turns to Dilbert and says, "When you're done, can we talk about requirements?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2003's comic on:


Tags #body in body, #knife, #one will die, #recommends killing, #save one life only, #one or the other

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Dogbert is standing on a stool. The Boss is sitting across from him; the consultick is still inside The Boss' torso. Dogbert says, "I can either save your life or the consultant's life, but one of you will die." The Boss replies, "Give us a minute to discuss it." The Boss stands and says, "He recommends that you kill me."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2004's comic on:


Tags #deadly product, #sued, #did nothing, #public realtions, #goal, #jury pool, #victims deserved it, #moral implications, #strategy

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"Dogbert does PR." "You knew your product was deadly but you did nothing until you were sued." "The goal of public relations is to taint the jury pool, we'll show that the victims had it coming." "Maybe we should discuss the moral implications of that strategy." "Bah!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #illeagal, #age, #sex, #martital status, #ethnicity, #fifty year old, #mongrel spinster

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"Evil director of H.R." "It's illegal for me to ask about age, sex, marital status, weight, ethnicity or disabilities." "But I can see that youre a fifty-year-old, 145-pund, mongrel spinster with some coordination issues." "Do you have any problem working on Christmas?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vendor, #reorganization, #staff

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"How could you tell a vendor about out reorganization before you tell your own staff?" "Scoot." "Come into my office and we can discuss it." "Gaaaa!!! It's a trick. "C'mon phone, ring!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 08, 2005's comic on:


Tags #ex employee, #named ted, #company policy, #weather, #moving lazily

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"Hi. I'm calling to check the references of your ex-employee named Ted." "We have a company policy against giving references. But I'd be happy to discuss the weather with you." "Okay." "The clouds are moving lazily across the sky, and everyone thinks they're stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 25, 2006's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #language, #translation, #trade off, #cheap, #money

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My Elbonian factory can manufacture your product for pennies. "Is there any downside?" "Minor translation issues." "They either said 'plastic' or 'the spleen of a pig-footed bandicoot.'" "We don't have any plastic." SPLEENS

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2006's comic on:


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"Wally, I've documented all of your disciplinary issues in your personnel file." "You have violations for every letter of the alphabet except Z. For some reason you missed that one." Zzzzzz