Don't Shoot Messenger Comic Strips - Page 7
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The Boss comes to Carol's desk and says, "Carol, I need you to fill in for our receptionist today." The Boss continues, "Remember, you will be the face of our company, the first impression for visitors." Carol is seen at the receptionist's desk. A visitor stands at the desk looking surprised as Carol says, "If anyone offers you food, don't eat it."
Dilbert is sitting on his couch. Dogbert approaches and says, "I'm putting you on a strict 'need to know' basis." Dogbert continues, "And stay out of the crawl space under the house." Dogbert continues, "And don't believe anything you see in the news for about six months."
Wally's head is floating in a cubicle wall. Dilbert sees him, drops his coffee, and exclaims, "Gaaa!" Wally responds, "Don't be afraid." Wally says, "I made a camouflage suit out of cubicle-wall fabric. Heh, Heh." Dilbert says, "You need a mask too." Wally responds, "I ran out of material. It was a mistake to make a tie."
The Boss addresses a meeting, "It's a new reality. If you don't like it, you can leave!" Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: How can we leave reality? Aren't we always in it by definition?" Dilbert looks around and sees that everyone around him is asleep. He says, "Never mind.. apparently everyone else knew what you meant."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Don't e-mail your answer to my boss until I've reviewed it." Dilbert responds, "Um... Okay." Dilbert asks, "May I walk to my cubicle now or would you like to review the route first?" The Boss replies, "Now that you mentioned it, I can't release."
The Boss says to Dilbert, "You're the first employee for my 'Coffee with the Boss' program." The Boss continues, "Feel free to say whatever is on your mind. Don't hold back. Give it to me straight." Dilbert says, "My chair has a squeak." The Boss yells, "You ungrateful whiny wretch!!!"
The Boss addresses a meeting, "I'll be taking my vacation in Africa so I can enjoy nature's wonders." The Boss continues, "And shoot as much of it as possible from the window of an SUV." The Boss asks Wally, "Have you ever seen monkey brains?" Wally responds, "Once, when you flared your nostrils."
Dilbert says to The Boss and Wally, "I'm well on my way to an early death from overworking." Dilbert continues, "I expect a visit from the grim reaper any day now." Dilbert is approached by the grim reaper. Dilbert says, "You don't look grim." The grim reaper responds, "Unlike you, I love my job."
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.
Dogbert: I've decided to spend more time criticizing things I don't understand. I say we should flat-tax the kyoto treaty all the way back to the security council, Dilbert: wouldn't that be unfair to stem cells? Dogbert: Bah!