Double Or Nothing Comic Strips - Page 7
430 Results for Double Or Nothing
View 61 - 70 results for double or nothing comic strips. Discover the best "Double Or Nothing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share July 26, 2008's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Did you deliver those legal papers to my CEO?" Bob says, "No, I served him." Dilbert says, "It means the same thing." Bob says, "How could it?" Dilbert says, "No, really, it does." Bob says, "Now I feel bad about double faulting."
Share October 29, 2008's comic on:
Wally says, "Some people see me as a loser who achieves nothing." Wally says, "In reality I am a winner who knows how to set realistic goals." Dilbert says, "So you're sort of a genius." Wally says, "And yet my only goal was to have a pulse."
Share April 22, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "The company is happy to annouce that compaired to previous years, we improved our rate of revenue decline." The Boss says, "We've been doing great since we redefined success as a slowing of failure." The Boss says, "Moving on. Who has a status report?" Wally says, "I improved my rate of doing nothing."
Share May 18, 2010's comic on:
The Boss says, "If you help bring in a new account, I'll give you a raise, unless there's no money in the budget then for raises." Alice says, "Please don't say what I think you're going to say next." The Boss says, "It's better than nothing." Alice says, "No it isn't!"
Share June 03, 2007's comic on:
Tags #ceo's meeting, #boos, #Dilbert, #status on technology, #platform migration, #nothing to hide, #100 drunken clowns, #beed in their underpants, #decline in morale, #pretending tow ork, #get fired, #hide things
CEO Meeting The Boss: "I brought Dilbert in case you have any technical questions." CEO: "What's the status on the technology platform migration project?" The Boss: "Be completely honest. We have nothing to hide." Dilbert: "Well, okay." "The project is like a hundred drunken clowns with bees in their underpants." "I expect the decline in morale to lead to violence." "Most of us are only pretending to work while secretly hoping the project gets canceled after you get fired by the board." "It turns out that we did have a few things to hide."
Share October 23, 2013's comic on:
Wally: I'm planning to take advantage of our new unlimited vacation policy. I'll be gone for two hundred days in the coming year. And I guarantee I will still double my productivity compared to the prior year. Boss: There's no way to measure productivity for engineers. Wally: Good to know.
Share January 21, 2014's comic on:
Boss: The key to career success is finding your special gift. Wally: My special gift is getting paid for doing nothing but babbling jargon. Boss: Maybe I should lead by example. Wally: Maybe you already did.
Share April 03, 2014's comic on:
Share April 14, 2014's comic on:
Dilbert: I have a great idea? Boss: What kind? Is it the kind I scoff at, the kind I steal, or the kind that makes me double your workload? Dilbert: It might be all of those. Boss: Sounds good so far.
Share July 10, 2014's comic on:
Wally: We need a "growth hacker" for our web apps. I think I'd be perfect for that job. Boss: I've heard of growth hackers, but I have no idea what they do all day. You could do nothing and I wouldn't know the difference. Wally: And I could work from home.