Dumb Self Centered Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

334 Results for Dumb Self Centered

View 61 - 70 results for dumb self centered comic strips. Discover the best "Dumb Self Centered" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #personal goal, #self actaulization, #outdated binders, #alpahbetical, #reqiuested, #feel unfulfilled, #phase two, #project, #find meaning, #ship binders, #dump

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok stands in front of the boss desk and says, "I fear I am not meeting my personal goal of self actualization." Asok says, "I put all of our outdated binders in alphabetical order as you requested, yet I feel unfulfilled." Asok says, "I assume that in phase two of this project I will find meaning." The boss says, "Now ship the binders to the dump."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #putting you on team, #intelligent, #highly motivated, #stubborn, #dumb guy, #v neck sweater

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss sstands in Dilbert's cubicle and says, "Dilbert, I'm putting you on a team." The boss says, "You'll be working with other intelligent, highly motivated people plus..." The boss puts his arm around a tall cave man looking man and says, "A stubborn dumb guy with a v-neck sweater."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #little stubborn guy, #dumb guy, #take over, #fulfill

View Transcript

Transcript

BIG: Id like you to meet the little stubborn dumb guy, Dumb: : If for any reason I cannot fulfill my duty to thwart your project, The LSDG will take over for me. Dumb: No, I won't . Big: Yes you will!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #reduce airline expense, #weed out dumb ones, #sprint across runway, #cling to plane, #takeoff

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert types, "To reduce airline travel expenses..." Dilbert reads, "Sprint across the runway and cling to plane during takeoff." Catbert thinks, "That will weed out the dumb ones."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #extroverted thinker, #human resources, #myers briggs personality, #quiet dumb guy, #personality types, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, the boss, Asok, Alice and Dilbert are in a meeting. The boss says: "From now on, all teams will be formed on the basis of Myers-Briggs personality types." The boss says: "If you do not have a personality, one will be assigned to you by human resources." Catbert is standing on the table reading the sheet of paper he is holding, he says to Wally: "We need a quiet dumb guy to pair with an extroverted thinker."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self paced, #online training, #sharpen my saw, #subject, #don't know subject, #confusing

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit together at a table. Wally says to the Boss, "I've been taking a self-paced online training course to sharpen my saw". The Boss replies, "What's the subject?" Wally answers, "I don't know." Frustrated with Wally's response, the Boss throws both arms in the air and yells, "How could you not know?" Wally answers, "What part of self-paced is confusing you?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #generic self help, #consultant, #keep a journal, #lead by example, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self service consulting, #strategy, #massive bills, #hoping to print

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the Boss while standing atop his desk, "I now offer self-service consulting." Dogbert continues, "Write down your strategy and I'll send you massive bills." The Boss asks, "Do you have a card?" Dogbert replies, "I was hoping you'd print some for me."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #self service consulting, #crate of anvils, #centralized, #decentralized, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says to the staff during a session of self-service consulting, "I was hired because you're all dumber than a crate of anvils." Dogbert continues, "Now, can anyone tell me if your operations are centralized or decentralized?" Asok waves his hand excitedly, "Ooh! Ooh! I just thought of a strategy!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #email, #email monkey, #feeling of self worth, #quit whenever

View Transcript

Transcript

Sitting at his computer, Asok thinks to himself "Send. Ooh!" Asok thinks to himself, "I get a tiny feeling of self-worth when I send e-mail to my boss." Dilbert says to Wally, loud enough for Asok to hear, "Looks like someone has an e-mail monkey on his back." Asok replies, "I can quit whenever I want!"