E Commerce Sight Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for e commerce sight comic strips. Discover the best "E Commerce Sight" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #email messages, #melrose place, #monkey love, #strategic edits, #total access, #network administrator

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and thinks, "I have total access to every employee's e-mail messages." Dogbert thinks, "With a few strategic edits I will transform the office into 'Melrose Place.'" Wally says to Alice, "Yes, Alice . . . I WILL be your 'monkey of love.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cartoonits, #goat herder, #good points, #newbie identity, #technology, #technology bigot

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Dilbert types, "On the surface, you seem to make some good points about technology . . ." Dilbert types, "But your e-mail address reveals your newbie identity. You're probably a goat herder or a cartoonist." Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the backrest. Dogbert asks, "How does it feel to be an elitist technology bigot?" Dilbert says, "I prefer to think of myself as a technology 'have.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #heres card, #email, #address, #eighty characters, #meaningless, #reply function

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A man hands Dilbert a business card and says, "Thanks for the meeting. Here's my card." Dilbert reads the card and says, "You call that an e-mail address? It's eighty characters long and mostly meaningless." The caption says, "People with embarrassing e-mail systems . . ." Four people sit in a circle. A woman says, "I tell people, 'The reply function doesn't work. You have to type in my address.'" The man thinks, "Loser."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #all employees, #smell of popcron, #unprofessional, #banning popcorn, #tobacco, #perfum, #Wally

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Catbert stands on his desk chair and types, "To: All Employees. The smell of popcorn in the office is unprofessional . . ." Wally and Alice read the e-mail message and Alice says, "He's banning popcorn! First it was tobacco, then perfume, now this . . . There's only one pollutant left." Catbert types, ". . . This brings me to the unpleasant subject of Wally . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #young and inexperinced, #naive question, #doing email, #after tax earnings, #alice, #stuffed body, #shirt sleeve

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Asok stands behind Alice's desk and says, "I am young and inexperienced, so please excuse this naive question, Alice . . ." Asok continues, "You spend hours every day 'doing e-mail.' How does this contribute to net after-tax earnings?" Asok stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "Today I learned that Alice can stuff my entire body into one shirt sleeve."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #argument, #new org chart, #promotion for intern, #startegies, #pretend its work

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Dilbert shouts at Asok, "I don't care what it 'looks' like on the org chart! You're an intern, not my boss!" The Boss pats Asok on the back and says, "I just saw the new org chart. Congratulations on your promotion, Asok!" Asok and the Boss walk away from Dilbert's desk. Asok says, "Let's go make some strategies and pretend it's work!" The Boss whispers, "Not so loud. The L-U-S-E-R might hear." Dilbert bangs his head on the desk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asap, #a stupid acting person, #deadlines, #embarrasing

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The Boss says, "Alice, I need this ASAP." Alice asks, "ASAP? Does that stand for A Stupid-Acting Person, i.e., someone who ignores tasks until the deadline?" The Boss walks away thinking, "That was embarrassing. I hope the other things I say don't mean anything."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Advice, #clone boss, #email message, #no knowledge, #perspective, #possible, #no experience

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Dilbert tells Wally, "Someday it will be possible to clone or boss." Wally replies, "But the clone would have no experience and no knowledge." The Boss tells them, "I just sent an e-mail message to Japan. I don't know the language so I took your advice and typed it all in caps." Dilbert says, "Wow. That put it all in perspective."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogebert, #systems adminitrator, #evil system, #private, #compiled binder, #off color humor, #unkind references, #naughty propositions, #heading, #sing

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Wally sits at his computer. Dogbert says, "Wally, did you know your e-mail system isn't private?" Dogbert continues while Wally looks worried. "I've compiled a binder with all your off-color humor, unkind references to co-workers, naughty propositions, and admissions to theft." Wally asks, "Where is this heading?" Dogbert replies, "I'd like you to sing that question while hopping on one foot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #downsized, #fate, #vote by email, #jimmy carter, #monitor voting

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Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: dinosaurs@unitedmedia.com A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."