Email Chain Letter Comic Strips - Page 7
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Carol: I just fired off a scathing letter to a columnist for misusing the word "dongle". Im intoxicated with the feeling of verbal superiority. My sad life has meaning , I feel alive! The columnist: Dear Nutbag, Thanks for the input, Heres a link yo a dictionary, I await your apology
The Boss: "Our company will be relocating to a high-crime area for tax reasons." "Our CEO says don't worry about your safety because your limo can pull right into the underground parking garage." "Then he added, "Or chain your bicycle to a wino. Whatever."
Dilbert: Can you email the test data to me? Coworker: We don't do it that way. Dilbert: That's not a reason. Coworker: I never give reasons. Dilbert: Nothing you say means anything! Coworker: That's how we've always done it.
Boss: Please stop using email to express your colorful opinions of our marketing campaign. We don't need a discoverable record of you describing our advertising plan as "Pinocchio doing the backstroke in Satan's septic tank." Remember that capitalism without deniability is the same as poverty. Dilbert: Eh?
Boss: I send your question up the chain of command. I talked to the district manager who talked to his AVP who talked to his VP who talked to his SVP who talked to the CEO. The answer is that we need to shine the braille toad. Dilbert: Do you see any problem with our system?
Boss: This isn't what I wanted. Dilbert: I know. But given your unclear email and your unwillingness to answer follow-up questions, I decided to do whatever entertained me. Boss: Do we have a problem here? Dilbert: No, this totally works for me.
The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.
Dilbert says, "I recommend we cancel our planned merger." Dilbert says, "They plan to open a chain of fast food restaurants using our employees as a source of protein." The Boss says, "If we always waited for the perfect situation, we'd never get anything done."
Cow supervisor A cow says, "Try not to think of me as a cow who happens to be your supervisor." The cow says, "Think of me as your bovine overlord, the usurper of your position in the food chain." Dilbert says, "I'd be lying if I said that didn't make it feel kind of cool." The cow says, "Say you'd die for me!"