Empty Chairs Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

98 Results for Empty Chairs

View 61 - 70 results for empty chairs comic strips. Discover the best "Empty Chairs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 10, 1999's comic on:

Tags #prospective client, #touring dept, #marketing department, #vacant cubicle, #pretending to work

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss stands in Dilbert's cubicle. The boss says, "A prospective client will be touring our marketing department in an hour." The boss says, "We need you to sit in a vacant cubicle so it looks as if work is done there." Dilbert sits in an empty cubicle pretending to type. a woman points and says, "Hey! that one is only pretending to work!"

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 1998's comic on:

Tags #posterior, #fat ass, #chair, #prnak, #lied boss, #like goldfish, #big charis, #big ass

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in front of the Boss' desk and says, "My posterior is growing to fit the size of my chair." The Boss asks, "Is that possible?" Alice replies, "Posteriors are like goldfish. They grow to the limit of their environment." The Boss replies, "That's ridiculous. I have the biggest chair. That would mean..." Alice quickly says, "Forget I brought it up. Well, back to work." Wally and Dilbert stand looking over the wall of a cubicle. Alice walks by and Dilbert asks, "Mission report?" Alice replies, "Success." Alice rubs her hands together and says, "The glue on his chair should be set by now." The Boss walks down the hall with his desk chair stuck to him. He thinks, "I guess this is why goldfishes don't use chairs."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2000's comic on:

Tags #incomprehensible accent, #won't ask questions, #coffee pot

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally, pouring a cup of coffee, says to Dilbert, "I'm thinking of adopting an incomprehensible accent so people won't ask me questions." Dilbert asks Wally as he returns the empty coffee pot to the warmer, "Um... Are you leaving that coffee pot empty right in front of me?" Wally says to Dilbert, "Meeyerna derna furna algonkin buhjoorna."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 2000's comic on:

Tags #rifle though pockets, #meditate, #mixed with management

View Transcript

Transcript

A doctor is examining The Boss as Dilbert says, "I think he tried to meditate." The doctor says, "That's the problem." The doctor continues examining The Boss and says to Dilbert, "You shouldn't mix meditation with management. The mind gets too empty." Dilbert asks, "What can we do?" The doctor says, "I plan to rifle through his pockets."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 29, 2000's comic on:

Tags #managers brain, #like pump, #prime it, #learns first, #form foundation, #future perceptions, #talking smack

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert and Dilbert watch The Boss who is in a coma at his desk. Catbert says, "A manager's brain is like a pump. If it becomes empty you must prime it." Catbert says to Dilbert, "Whatever he learns first will form the foundation for all of his future perceptions." Catbert points at Dilbert and says to The Boss, "This guy has been talking smack about you." The Boss begins to come to, saying, "Unh..."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2001's comic on:

Tags #bar, #burp, #chug chardonnay, #drinks, #drunk, #drunkards, #gross, #guzzled, #hit on, #pig, #scene, #sloshed, #slurred words, #strictly business, #business man, #date, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice and a businessman sit at a bar. Alice says, "This is strictly business, right? We're going to talk about your company's product." The businessman raises his glass to Alice and says, "I bet I can drink for chardonnay than you can." Later, Alice's hair is completely dishevelled and both Alice and the businessman are slumped in their chairs, totally drunk. Alice says, "You're a hanshum man and so ish your twin bruver." The business man burps loudly.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2001's comic on:

Tags #feel guilty, #enhance stockholder value

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Wally are at the coffee machine. Dilbert says to Wally, "Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to enhance stockholder value." Dilbert asks, "Do you ever feel that way?" Wally pours the entire coffee pot into his mouth: "Glug Glug Glug." Wally hands Dilbert the empty coffee pot. Dilbert says, "I'll take that as a No."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 03, 2003's comic on:

Tags #cannibals, #inspirational quotes, #lobby wall, #hands on stomach

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally hands The Boss a piece of paper and says, "As requested, I pulled together some inspirational quotes for our lobby wall." The Boss reads the list and says, "Hannibal Lector... The Donner Party... Uh.. Wally, most of these people are cannibals." Wally puts his hand on his stomach and says, "It was probably a mistake to do this assignment on an empty stomach."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 17, 2004's comic on:

Tags #pursue disruptive innovations.glorious, #fully funded, #amzing, #free from bureaucracy, #bean bag charis

View Transcript

Transcript

DOGBURT CONSULTS dogcart: "I recommend forming a separate group to pursue disruptive innovations." "It will be a glorious place: fully funded, amazing ambiance, brilliant people, free from bureaucracy." "Best of all, once a year they'll let you losers tour their work space and sit in their bean bag chairs."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2004's comic on:

Tags #sublet space, #business case, #risks and drivers, #changed mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."