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View 61 - 70 results for fast comic strips. Discover the best "Fast" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss on vacation, #format reports, #link to widget, #satans fireplace, #32 degrees, #power

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Dilbert says, "I'm in charge while our boss is on vacation. When can you format some reports for me?" Carol says, "I'll send you a link to a widget that shows the temperature in Satan's fireplace. When it hits 32o Fahrenheit, I'll get right on it." Dilbert says, "And I was worried that the power would go to my head." Carol says, "Not as fast as this stapler will."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #moral compass broken, #nun, #ceo, #scientist, #burning building, #bidding war, #science

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Catbert says, "I can't put you on the management fast track until I confirm that your moral compass is broken." Catbert says, "A nun, a CEO and a scientist are in a burning building. You can only save one of them. Which one do you save?" Dilbert says, "Is there time for a bidding war?" Catbert says, "Oh, you're good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #chain letter, #e-mail, #die, #panic, #friends, #negotiating, #fifty, #superstitious

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The Boss says, "Oh no. If I don't forward this e-mail to fifty friends, I'll die within a week." The Boss says, "I don't have that many friends! I need to make more friends, and fast!!!" Dilbert says, "What are you sending him now?" Wally says, "I'm upping it to sixty friends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #computer, #work, #arbitrary, #sarcastic, #hearing distance, #scurry away, #fast, #end of day, #technology

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The Boss says, "And I'll need that by the end of day." Dilbert says, "I will gladly rush to meet your arbitrary deadline so my work can sit in your e-mail inbox until next week." The Boss says, "I'm still within hearing distance." Dilbert says, "Oops. You usually scurry away faster."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #assignment, #moron, #yell, #grab tie, #upset

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Dilbert says, "?And I'll need all of that by tomorrow." Coworker says, "No problem. I'll get right on it." Dilbert says, "This is a bad sign. If you were even a little bit competent you would be overloaded with work." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!! I'm putting my trust in a moron!" Coworker says, "Wow. You got there fast."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slug, #success, #energy, #fast, #fat, #stick paper, #slimy, #face, #health

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Dilbert says, "My success depends on your doing your role in a timely and energetic manner." Dilbert says, "People say you're a big, fat slug, but I have confidence in you. I'll stick this to your slimy face and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #details, #work, #slacker, #meeting, #business

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Wally says, "My project is unfunded, just the way I like it. Wally says, "I spend my entire say forwarding funny e-mails and lubricating my bowels with coffee." The boss says, "Allow me to explain something?" Wally says, "Better make it fast!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #woman, #insane, #crazy, #dating, #weird, #relationships

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Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is?" Woman says, "Whoa! Whoa! Not in person!" Woman says, "I only meet men through online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers." Dilbert says, "Too crazy too fast." Woman says, "I know. I'm working on that."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #procrastination, #excuses, #asking, #frustrated, #ridiculous

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Wally says, "If I don't have enough time to do things right, should I just do nothing?" Wally says, "Or do you prefer that I miss deadlines, or do shoddy work, or pray for divine intervention?" The boss says, "I want everything fast and perfect." Wally says, "Can I buy a prayer rug?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceo, #asking, #meeting, #group, #conference, #drinking, #collusion, #scared, #nervous, #corruption, #greed, #business

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CEO Summit Dogbert says, "Do you collude?" Man says, "Sometimes." Dogbert says, "Are you colluding with anyone now, because I'd sure like to collude with you." Dogbert says, "What are you into? Maybe a little price fixing?" Man says, "This is all happening so fast."