Financial Planner Comic Strips - Page 7

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

69 Results for Financial Planner

View 61 - 69 results for financial planner comic strips. Discover the best "Financial Planner" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2016's comic on:

Tags #workload, #work ethic, #laziness, #teamwork, #team, #philosophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I don't know how you are stress-free when we have so much work to do. Wally: It's all about understanding percentages. No matter how hard you work, you will never finish even two percent of what needs to be done. The financial rewards of doing two percent of your work are identical to doing none. It's also a good idea to volunteer for several projects so everyone thinks you're working on the other ones. Your problem is that you're doing actual work for no good reason. Dilbert: My problem is that I'm doing your work plus my work! Wally: It's only two percent more work, you whiner.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2016's comic on:

Tags #financial, #jargon, #money, #accounting, #language

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.

Do Whatever The Data Says

Thank you for voting.
Do Whatever The Data Says - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2017's comic on:

Tags #study, #analysis, #decision, #conclusions, #bias, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to do a financial analysis on upgrading our customer tracking software. Dilbert: What conclusion do you want me to reach? Boss: We'll do whatever the data says. Dilbert: Which is...? Boss: I already bought the upgrade.

Unethical Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Unethical Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2017's comic on:

Tags #money, #ethics, #misleading, #finances, #budget

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial projection doesn't support my preferred strategy. Maybe you could tweak the discount rate to 40%. Dilbert: You're asking me to be unethical. Boss: Only with your assumptions.

Getting The Wrong Answer

Thank you for voting.
Getting The Wrong Answer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #budget, #spending, #Advice, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: As you can see from my financial projections, doing a major upgrade now would be unwise. Boss: I need to spend my entire budget this year so they won't give me a smaller budget next year. Dilbert: It seems you have wasted my time. Boss: It's not my fault you got the wrong answer.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2017's comic on:

Tags #prognosticate, #prediction, #projection, #budget, #blame

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are your financial projections available? Dilbert: Yes, because I can see into the future. Boss: No one can see into the future. Dilbert: Then why did you ask me if I can do it? Boss: It's your job to predict the outcome of your project. Dilbert: Why would you ask me to do something that no one can do? Boss: I don't need you to be accurate. I only need someone to blame when we go over budget. Dilbert: I saw that coming. Boss: No one like a braggart.

Forecasts Are Guessing Plus Math

Thank you for voting.
Forecasts Are Guessing Plus Math - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 01, 2017's comic on:

Tags #guessing, #finances, #forecast, #estimate

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Your financial forecast turned out to be wrong. Dilbert: Is that a surprise, given that forecasts are mostly just guessing plus math? Boss: The math is supposed to fix the guessing. Dilbert: I think we've isolated the problem to you.

Nailed It

Thank you for voting.
Nailed It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 02, 2017's comic on:

Tags #finances, #guessing, #estimate, #catchphrase, #clever

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I can't give you a raise because your financial forecasts were all wrong. Dilbert: Financial forecasts are always wrong. You told me to make one anyway. Boss: In other words, I nailed it and you failed it. Dilbert: Catchy.

Directionally Accurate

Thank you for voting.
Directionally Accurate - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2018's comic on:

Tags #projections, #budget, #finance, #math, #excuse, #compliment, #accuracy, #education, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Are you confident in your financial projections? Wally: They're directionally accurate. Boss: Your columns don't even add up. Wally: Why is it so hard for you to give a compliment?