Search Results for "first class"
Share September 23, 1997's comic on:
Wally and a vendor are eating lunch at a restaurant and are looking at the menu. Wally says, "Do you realize this is our third date?" The vendor (a woman) says, "We're not dating. I'm a vendor and you're my client." The vendor says, "You always say the only time we can meet is during lunch. That way I'm obligated to pay for it." The waitress brings them glasses of water. Wally says, "You're feisty. I'd better get the oysters." The vendor makes an angry grimmace and thinks, "Make sale first. Then kill client."
Share October 30, 1997's comic on:
Catbert reads from a paper to the Boss. "There are several mandatory classes for managers." Catbert reads, "Avoiding contact with subordinates, Misplacing important documents, The joy of listening to your own voice." Catbert says, "Have you taken the prerequisite class in time management?" The Boss says, "Twice."
Share November 14, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert meets his date. His date puts out her arms and says, "Hi, Dilbert! Hi, Dogbert!" Dilbert thinks, "Uh-oh!" Dilbert's date goes in for a hug. Dilbert thinks, "She's a hugger on the first date. I never know where my arms should go." Dilbert hugs his date, his arms going down her shirt and lifting it up to her head. You can see her bra and Dilbert says, "I hope this doesn't seem awkward, but my watch is snagged on your bra strap."
Share November 17, 1997's comic on:
The Boss says, "Tina, we're changing the job titles of all non-technical people." The Boss says, "Collectively, you'll be known as our S.C.C. Group." Tina says, "I like the sound of it - very dignified. We were beginning to feel like second class citizens. What's SCC stand for?"
Share December 29, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. Ratbert says, "So, I'm thinking: what if every photon is just a densely packed universe, and to them, our universe looks like a photon?" Ratbert says, "If I'm right, I might be the first rat to win a Nobel prize." Ratbert says, "Stranger things have happened." Dilbert turns and says, "Name one."
Share June 06, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "Our pointy-haired boss won't tell me our company's strategy." Dilbert says, "So I spend my days wandering from cubicle to cubicle, trying to deduce the strategy." Dilbert looking over into Wally's adjacent cubicle. Wally is sitting in his cubicle. Dilbert says, "So far I've ruled out 'First to market.'" Wally responds, "And premiere anything."
Share August 17, 1998's comic on:
The boss sits at his desk. He speaks into a PA system but the handset is held upside down. The Boss says, "This is today's motivational message for all employees." The Boss says, "Today is the first day of the rest of the week." The Boss thinks, "Or is it?"
Share October 12, 1998's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his computer. The Boss stands in the doorway of his cubicle. The boss says, "I'm sending you to Elbonia to teach a class in cobol." Dilbert says, "I don't know cobol." The boss says, "Maybe you can learn it on the plane." Dilbert glares at the Boss over the wall of his cubicle. The Boss walks away. Dilbert says, "Maybe I'll take some scuba lessons up there too." The Boss thinks, "I'm making my getaway."
Share October 15, 1998's comic on:
Caption: Dilbert teaches Cobol in Elbonia. Dilbert stands in waist high snow in fron of two Elbonians. Dilbert says, "...And that's how you fix your "Year 2000" problem." Dilbert says, "This concludes my four-day class. Are there any questions." Elbonian man 1 says, "What's a year?" Elbonian man 2 says, "And is cobol a kind of cabbage or what?" Dilbert says, "Class dismissed."
Share November 20, 1994's comic on:
Tags #share accomplishments, #created dcoument, #desktop publishing, #two day class, #digitized photos, #color highlights, #multi column, #clip art, #icons, #visual mosaic, #add topic, #some content, #enjoy work
The Boss, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let's go around the table and share our accomplishments." Dilbert says, "I created a document this week." Dilbert continues, "But THIS is no ordinary document!" Dilbert explains, "I bought a $500 desktop publishing program and took a two-day class to learn it." Dilbert continues, "I incorporated digitized photos and color highlights in a multi-column page layout!" Dilbert continues, "Clip-art icons are sprinkled liberally around the page to form a visual mosaic!" Dilbert continues, "Next week - God willing - I'll add a topic and some content." The Boss says, "Do you remember when I said you should enjoy your work? I didn't mean it." Dilbert says, "Ooh."