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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #park bench, #noriko, #classes, #lives, #television, #channels

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Dogbert and Noriko sit on a park bench. Noriko says, "I can't wait to grow up and get out of school." Dogbert says, "Actually, Noriko, your generation will have to take classes and work full-time your whole lives . . . Assuming any jobs exist." Dogbert continues, "But on the plus side, television will have a thousand channels." Noriko yells, "That's it; somebody's got some explaining to do!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #computer, #middle ages, #the plague

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Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert sits on the desk. Ratbert says, "Sometimes I think I'm not reaching my full potential as a rat." Dilbert replies, "You're right. In the Middle Ages, disease-carrying rats wiped out half of the human population of Europe." Ratbert says, "I think I've got a little temperature. Feel my forehead." Dilbert says, "Face it, your glory days are past."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 30, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #garbageman, #man, #woman

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Dilbert: the bio world dome is now sealed you must live off its resources for two years. The edible plants were delivered just before the dome was sealed. They are the key to your survival. Garbageman: Can somebody open the delivery door? I've got some plants outside.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #bioworld, #experiement, #Food, #air, #gone, #sadistic, #car, #salespeople, #boss, #saturn

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Man: Please... End the bio world experiment. We're out of food. Air is almost gone. We pray there was no sadistic intent when you chose only car salespeople for the experiment... Please... At least let some air in... Dogbert: Gee, I really want to help. I'll go try to convince my boss to see it your way. Man: Hey! I'm a "saturn" dealer- I'm different!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #presentation, #computer

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in Dilbert's lab. Dilbert says, "I'm adjusting the pointer pen laser light for my presentation tomorrow." Dilbert says, "I'm boosting the power so it's easier to see. Watch it while I get the phone." Dogbert turns the power up and the pen glows. Dogbert says, "The aliens appear hostile, captain. Set phasers to full power!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 1994's comic on:


Tags #rate of inflation, #Promotion, #net worth, #shopping cart, #aluminum cans, #all good carts

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Dilbert: "At the current rate of inflation, with no raises or promotions..." "Our net worth at retirement will be...a shopping cart full of aluminum cans." "We'd better do something." Wally: "I'm going shopping before all the good carts are gone."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 05, 1994's comic on:


Tags #corporate politics, #waste basket, #teach everything, #promoted level

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Dilbert: I want you to teach me everything you know about corporate politics so I can get promoted to your level. The Boss: To truly understand office politics you must wear a waste basket on your head for one full day. LATER Dilbert: Does this really work? The Boss: It works for me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1994's comic on:


Tags #broadcasted, #dsn, #identify, #jobs, #movie, #take over, #takeover

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"From now on you'll be working full time on our takeover of DSN." "You must also identify any unnecessary jobs that can be cut after the takeover." "That would be the people who worked on the take-over." "Ooh, I broadcasted that move."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #smart like you, #rat, #garbageman, #special gift, #creativity, #talent, #ability to love

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Ratbert: I wish I were smart like you. Then Id get some respect. GarbageMAN: We're all smart in different ways, Your special gift may be creativity, a talent , or even the ability to love. Ratbert: I can burp my cheeks full ...urp. Garbage Man: Id go with that If I were you.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 1995's comic on:


Tags #stock, #shares, #timely leaks, #media, #value plunged, #sell now, #fair share price, #want copy, #Entertainment

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Dogbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and three other managers. Dogbert says, "Your stock was $30 per share when I offered to buy the company, but thanks to some timely leaks to the media your value has plunged." Dogbert continues, "However, if you sell right now I'll pay the full $30 for your stock." The Boss says, "I recommend we do it." A manager hands the signed contract back to Dogbert and says, "Done. $30 per share is more than fair." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, 'per share' would have been fair. Anybody want a copy?" The Boss looks shocked.