God News Comic Strips - Page 7
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221 Results for God News
View 61 - 70 results for god news comic strips. Discover the best "God News" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday April 08,
2002
Tags good news, promoting work, pay and title, Promotion, scaring me
Transcript
The Boss says to Dilbert, "Good news, Dilbert. I'm promoting you to more work!" The Boss continues, "It's the same pay and title. But it must be good because I called it a promotion and I'm smiling!" The Boss forces a severe smile and says, "Still..smiling..good...news..." Dilbert responds, "You're scaring me."
Saturday February 15,
2003
Tags downsized, good news, half huge raises, same people, ran numbers
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "The good news is that half of you will get huge raises." The Boss continues, "The bad news is that half of you will be downsized tomorrow." Dilbert turns and says, "Is it the same people?" The Boss replies, "Yeah, we ran the numbers."
Tuesday July 06,
2004
Tags bad news coming, time stopped, grows beard, eternity later, boss forgets
Transcript
Dilbert: Time has stopped until my boss gives me the bad news that he hinted was coming. Maybe I'll use the time to invent a new language and grow a beard. An Eternity later Dilbert: EE_YO NEBABA WANPONU GREP> The boss: I forgot why I wanted to talk to you.
Tuesday August 17,
2004
Tags product designer, function, design, everything, quality, news, emotional impact, hard to look at
Transcript
"Product designer" Dogbert: "Function means nothing. Design is everything." "Quality is yesterday's news. Today we focus on the emotional impact of the product." Dilbert: "But it still needs quality, right?" Dogbert: "You are so-o-o-o hard to look at."
Sunday May 30,
1999
Tags change contract, signed months ago, hurt to ask, discount, clueless, primary vendors, acts of god, poltergeists, steal best
Transcript
The boss hands Alice a piece of paper. The boss says, "Alice make a few changes to this contract." Alice says, "Changes? This contract was signed months ago." The boss says, "It doesn't hurt to ask." Alice says, "You want me to ask for a sixty percent discount?" The boss says, "No one said it would be easy." Alice says, "You're asking me to be a clueless jerk in front of our primary vendor." Alice says, "Please don't ask me to do this." The boss says, "And ask if they'll change the part about "acts of God" to include poltergeists." The boss walks away and thinks, "That's why our vendors never try to steal our best employees."
Friday March 25,
2005
Tags you're ugly, or rumor is ugly, bad news, ugly rumor
Transcript
Dilbert: "I'm the victim of an ugly rumor at work." Dogbert: "Are you saying that the rumor is ugly or that the rumor is that you're ugly?"<Br>"I'm saying the rumor itself is ugly."<Br>"Well, then I have more bad news for you."
Monday August 08,
2005
Tags good news, Promotion, you didn't get it, misogyny, screams
Transcript
The boss: I have good news about the promotion you wanted: You didn't get it! Alice: "HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY CALL THAT GOOD NEWS?" The boss: "They don't like positivity."
Tuesday August 09,
2005
Tags good news, bad news, coporate marathon, 26 miles, run marathon, tomorrow
Transcript
I have some good news and some bad news. "The good news is that the company is going to sponsor a corporate marathon team." "The bad news is that one of you has to run 26 miles tomorrow."
Thursday October 04,
2012
Tags elections, online (web) news, patents, libor rates, higgs bison, patent law, electoral college
Transcript
Boss: Here's some news I don't understand about libor rates. Here's some news I don't understand about the Higgs boson. Remind me why we have news. Catbert: I think it has something to do with patent law and the electoral college.
Friday January 04,
2013
Tags online (web) news, news manufaturer, online media, misleading headlines, snarky bow, news naturally, engineer, news magic, engineering
Transcript
Dogbert: I got a job as a news manufacturer for an online media company. I quote people out of context, add misleading headlines and tie it all up with a snarky bow. Dilbert: I thought the news occurred naturally. Dogbert: "Entineer Thinks News is Magic."