Half Empty Comic Strips - Page 7
188 Results for Half Empty
View 61 - 70 results for half empty comic strips. Discover the best "Half Empty" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 01, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert arrives at home and sees Dogbert sitting on the floor in an empty room. Dilbert asks, "Dogbert, where's all of our furniture?!!" Dogbert replies, "Your new cleaning person loaded it into his van and drove away . . . Oh, and he said to tell you he quit." Dilbert says, "I think we need to review your job description as watchdog." Dogbert points to the wall and says, "I got his address." The cleaning person wrote on the wall "Send my check to," followed by his address.
Share January 28, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of an empty fishbowl with his arms on his hips. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "You expect me to believe that Goldie flushed HIMSELF down the john??!" Dogbert replies, "Surely you don't believe that I ended his ugly, stupid fish life in a fit of pet rivalry . . ." Dilbert looks at a small piece of paper and says, "Explain how a fish can write a suicide note." Dogbert says, "I've heard they have schools . . ."
Share April 15, 1992's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "I've developed a plan to make you pity me and then welcome me in your family." Ratbert shows Dilbert a roll of toilet paper with a face drawn on it. Ratbert says, "I built Timmy the Toilet Paper Man. Timmy will be my only friend. It will be so pathetic that you will have to love me." Ratbert shows Dogbert an empty roll of toilet paper and says, "Dilbert seems to have very little respect for Timmy."
Share January 29, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dogbert says, "I've decided to be the center of the universe." Dogbert continues, "All of the things in the universe can now be described in terms of their relationship to me." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a rock. Dilbert says, "I don't understand why you're doing this." Dogbert replies, "That's because your brain is only a half-Dogbert."
Share May 12, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert thinks, "The other engineers shun me because I'm assigned to work on the budget." Wally covers his eyes as he walks by Dilbert and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert walks down the hall thinking, "They know I could pounce any moment and asks inane hypothetical budget questions." A man covers his eyes and thinks, "Shun." Dilbert asks a woman, "What if you only had half as much electricity next year?" The woman covers her eyes and says, "Too late. I shunned you."
Share June 19, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert says to the seminar participants, "As a zombie, you must speak in empty generalities." Dogbert continues, "Your business plan might say 'We strive to utilize a variety of techniques to accomplish a broad spectrum of results toward the bottom line.'" A man says, "Hey! My skin is getting clammy and I have the urge to call a meeting!" The man sitting next to him says, "Me too!" Dogbert says, "Good . . . Good . . ."
Share July 17, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk and Ratbert sits on the desk. Ratbert says, "Sometimes I think I'm not reaching my full potential as a rat." Dilbert replies, "You're right. In the Middle Ages, disease-carrying rats wiped out half of the human population of Europe." Ratbert says, "I think I've got a little temperature. Feel my forehead." Dilbert says, "Face it, your glory days are past."
Share August 25, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says to three Elbonians, "I've been sent to teach you 'Total Quality Management.'" Dilbert points at a visual aid that says "Quality equals good (1950)." Dilbert says, "In the old days, quality was just an empty word meaning 'good.'" Dilbert continues, "Eventually it evolved into a complicated method for transferring your money to business consultants."
Share August 31, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert asks, "Do you realize the government takes half of all the money you make?" Dogbert continues, "And the majority of people are too young to vote, or didn't bother to vote, or voted for the loser. . . . And nobody alive voted for our constitution." Dilbert replies, "It's never good when you have these insights." Dogbert says, "I've decided to levy my own tax on people."
Share December 15, 1993's comic on:
Dilbert says, "Hey, Dogbert! I just discovered I can fit an entire change of clothes into an empty 'Pringles' potato chip can." Dilbert continues, "Most of the fabrics I wear can be rolled up pretty tight . . . So . . . Uh . . ." Dilbert walks away thinking, "It's funny how the most brilliant idea can sound silly when you tell your dog."