Hands On Manager Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for hands on manager comic strips. Discover the best "Hands On Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project manager, #direct natural talent, #energy, #common goal, #agenda, #copies of agenda, #health

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wally: "I've never been a project manager before." "I understand I'm supposed to direct your natural talents and energies toward a common goal." Wally: "Carol, did you make copies of the agenda?" Carol: "No, it sounded hard."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slither away, #doomed project, #assistant, #teach you, #manager skin, #speaking metaphor

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Dogbert: "You need to slither away from your doomed project before you get blamed." Dogbert: "My assistant will teach you how to shed your project manager skin." Snake: "Yello!" Skeleton: "Ow! Ow! Ow! How's this so far?" Snake: "Impressive, but we were speaking metaphorically."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #project manager, #returned calls, #emails, #mentally superior, #finished porject, #sleep national holidays

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Asok: "Since I became project manager, no one has returned my calls or responded to my e-mails." Asok: "Luckily, I'm an I.I.T. graduate, mentally superior to most people on Earth, so I finished the project myself." Wally: "Are you tired?" Asok: "I am trained to only sleep during national holidays."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #the boss, #product awareness class, #hands on training, #next version

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The Boss: I signed you up for a product awareness class. Dilbert: GAAA!!! The Boss: They'll give you hands on training Man: we're hoping to fix this problem in the next version.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #too many managers, #aspect manager, #corproaret objective, #morale aspect, #bad coice, #dread

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CEO: "We have too many managers, so I'm making you an aspect manager." "You'll be in charge of one aspect of a corporate objective." The Boss: "Please just fire me." CEO: "Your aspect will be morale."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #aspect manager, #morale, #effective, #genius, #change of leadership

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The Boss: "I've been named the aspect manager of moral. Effective today, you no longer report to me." Yippeeee! Woo hooo! Yes! CEO: "How did you improve the morale so quickly?" The Boss: "I'm a genius?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sexism, #witch coven, #new manager, #face growl, #new dress code, #winged monkey, #called tough

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Zenox: "I'm Zenox, the new manager of this coven... I mean department." "When I am displeased I make this face and growl like the undead." Grrow-eeeahh! "The new dress code is 'winged monkey.'" Dilbert: "If a man acted like you he'd be called tough."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dental evidence, #hired manager, #the hotline, #ethics questions, #ethics manager

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The Boss: "The company has hired an manager." "If you have any ethics questions, call the hotline." Dogbert: "That's fine, as long as you get rid of the dental evidence."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #design one microchip, #dozens of meetings, #manager

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The boss: "All you did this quarter is design one microship." "In comparison, I found the time to attend dozens of meetings." "Now do you see what it takes to be a manager?" "Sadly, yes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #manager sounding voice, #promotion to management, #no qualifications

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"Congratulations, Alice. You're one of my two candidates for the promotion to management." "The other candidate has no qualifications except for his manager-sounding voice." "And he doesn't make that face.: