Hating Software Comic Strips - Page 7
296 Results for Hating Software
View 61 - 70 results for hating software comic strips. Discover the best "Hating Software" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share January 31, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Man-hating Supervisor. The supervisor asks Wally, "Have any of you men done anything to justify your pay?" Wally responds, "I attended an all-day meeting but later found out I was in the wrong one." The supervisor says, "Actually, you're not supposed to be in this meeting either." Wally replies, "The door was open."
Share February 01, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. Asok is sitting at his desk. The supervisor approaches and says, "You're being fired for being a man." Asok replies, "No one has ever called me a man before! This is the happiest day of my life!" Asok dances around and shouts, "I'm a MAN!" The supervisor exclaims, "Stop enjoying life!!"
Share February 02, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Man-Hating Supervisor. The supervisor says to The Boss, "The men here are oblivious to my abuse. What did you do to them?" The Boss replies, "I siphoned off their self-respect and keep it in vials in a storage room." The supervisor says, "This is no fun. I quit." The Boss responds, "Do you want to yell at the vials with me?"
Share February 04, 2002's comic on:
Headline: Dogbert Tech Support. Dogbert is talking into a telephone headset. He says, "Your software is worn out. You must be typing too hard." Dogbert continues, "Switch to decaf, paint your walls pink and stop going to the gym." Dilbert approaches Dogbert and says, "I've never heard of holistic tech support." Dogbert replies, "Maybe you should read more."
Share January 30, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert is at his computer typing, Dogbert is sitting on the desk on top of a sheet of paper. Dilbert says: "My anti-spam software is complete." Dilbert says: "It checks my incoming e-mail for key words." Dilbert says: "Then it deletes anything that looks like an advertisement." Dogbert says: "Suppose a beatiful woman sends you a message saying..." Dogbert says: "I am a model for Victoria's Secret. I want to date you on my sailboat." Dogbert says: "But she spells sail s-a-l-e." "What then?" Dilbert stares at the computer. Dilbert asks Dogbert: "What's she wearing?"
Share March 19, 2000's comic on:
Dilbert tells a salesman: "We found a dozen bugs in the software you sold us." The salesman answers: "We can fix these bugs for $20,000. Dilbert is shocked: "What?" Dilber says: "You can't charge us to fix you own defective product!" The salesman laughs boisterously. He explains: "Sorry...I was overcome by an evil euphoria." Dilbert says: "I guess we have to pay. We have no choice!" Reaching for his cell-phone, the salesman says: "Excuse me." The salesman speaks into his cell-phone: "Put more bugs in the software! I'm making a fortune out here!" Dilbert thinks: "I'm starting to question our single source strategy."
Share April 23, 2002's comic on:
The Boss says to Dilbert and Wally, "It's critical that you finish this engineering analysis by Tuesday." Dilbert says, "Aahh.. It has the sweet smell of an unnecessary assignment." Wally says, "Yes, I can smell it from here." Dilbert says, "Feasibility of using non-existent software." Wally giggles, "Hee Hee!" The Boss says, "Stop being you."
Share June 11, 2002's comic on:
A vendor says to Dilbert, "Our new version is a step backward in quality and reliability." The vendor continues, "We're counting on your irrational need to have the latest version of every software product." Dilbert responds, "I hate your weasel guts... but I'll take one for home and one for the office."
Share August 24, 2002's comic on:
Dilbert says into the phone, "And I need the software in a week." The voice on the other end of the line says, "Cheryl is the only one who knows the ordering system." The woman on the other end of the line says into the phone, "She's on her honeymoon for two weeks. You need CFO approval to buy software outside the system." Dilbert responds, "Fine. I'll talk to the CFO. When will he be available?" The voice responds, "Depends on the parole board."
Share January 25, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is meeting with a salesman. The salesman says, "For only a million dollars, you can upgrade to our newest software version." The salesman continues, "Or you can slowly decompose in the miasma of our planned obsolescence." Dilbert says, "We can't afford to upgrade now." The salesman holds up a device and replies, "Say goodbye to the digits three and nine."