Help Comic Strips - Page 7
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424 Results for Help
View 61 - 70 results for help comic strips. Discover the best "Help" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday September 01,
2020
Wally Will Look Into It
Tags business, office workers, help, forget, note, procrastination, sarcasm, surprise
Transcript
tina: ...so, maybe you can help? wally: i'll look into it. tina: perhaps you could write yourself a little note so you don't forget. wally: nah. tina: should i abandon all hope now or wait? wally: depends how much you like surprises.
Sunday March 21,
2021
Tina Asks For Help
Tags business, co-workers, colleague, draft, review, busy, yes, time, sarcastic, sarcasm, suspicious, answer, innocent
Transcript
tina: do you have a few minutes to review my first draft? dilbert: yes. tina: i ask because usually you say you're to busy to help. dilbert: well, i said yes this time. tina: that's funny, because usually you're all, "i'm so busy." but today you have all the time in the world. dilbert: today i'm not busy. tina: i find that suspicious. dilbert yelling: take yes for an answer!!! tina: that's not how innocent people talk.
Thursday April 21,
2011
Tags managers & supervisors, questioning, suspicion, schedule meetings, excuse, do nothing, disbelief, scheduling meetings, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you mind if I ask Carol to help me schedule these meetings? Boss: Ooh... that's no good. She'd use it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing else for a week. Dilbert: Is it okay if I just stare at you in disbelief? Boss: Shouldn't you be scheduling some meetings?
Thursday April 28,
2011
Tags anxiety, confused, emails accounts, internet & world wide web, might snap, pin code, too many passwords, user names, chaos, crazy, lose it, mental, breakdown, overload, technological, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert's password recovery service. Ted: I have so many passwords and email accounts and user names that I don't know what goes to what. I'm lost. If you can't help me I think I might snap. Dogbert: No problem. What's your password recovery PIN code? Noise: SNAP!
Friday January 07,
2011
Tags computer software, ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "I hired a consultant to help us evolve our products to cloud computing." Dogbert says, "Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud. Blah blah cloud." The Boss says, "It's as if your'e a technologist and a philosopher all in one!" Dogbert says, "blah blah platform."
Saturday February 19,
2011
Tags anger, honesty, moving, new offcie, sounds weird, real one, save the attitude
Transcript
Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."
Tuesday July 05,
2011
Tags annoyance, apathy, choosing, comments, two alternatives, recommended option, more expensive
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.
Sunday October 02,
2011
Tags annoyance, computers & peripherals, office equipment, servers down, holdup, iterated by idiot, guard door, don't see guy
Transcript
Boss: The servers are down. Dilbert: I know. Boss: You should do something about it. Dilbert: I'm trying. Boss: What's the holdup? Dilbert: I keep getting interrupted by an unhelpful idiot. Boss: Maybe I can help. I'll guard your doorway and keep that guy away from you. This is boring. And I don't see that guy. Have I managed enough for now? Dilbert: You nailed it.
Sunday October 09,
2011
Tags anger, frustration, matrix comparing features, skin in game, bang head, cause extra work, value of time, ninja economics
Transcript
Ted: You know what would be great? I'd like to see a matrix comparing the features of our past products. Boss: Dilbert, why don't you pull that together for our next meeting! Dilbert: That would take two days and the matrix would have no practical use. The problem here is that Ted doesn't have any skin in the game. I propose that Ted has to bang his head on the table whenever he causes me to do extra work. That will help Ted make better decision about the value of my time. Ted: Never mind. Dilbert: Ninja economics!
Saturday December 17,
2011
Tags gadgets, suspicion, new smart ohone, no truct, own agenda, paranoid, recharge me, threats from phone
Transcript
Boss: I don't trust my new smartphone. It understands spoken language. That's creepy. I think it has its own agenda. Catbert: You're being paranoid. Boss: Recharge me now or so help me jobs I will delete your contacts.

