Honest Opinion Comic Strips - Page 7
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Dilbert: Experts say I should show respect for your opinion before voicing disagreement. So I respect your decision to release our product without user interface testing. Boss: Your respect sounds exactly like disrespect. Dilbert: How is that my fault?
Dilbert: My tests show we underperform our competition on nine out of eleven dimensions. Boss: Give the two good ones to Marketing. We can't be more honest than that. Dilbert: I'm almost certain we can. Boss: No, we really can't.
Tina: I can't work with Wally. His political views are abhorrent. Boss: That has nothing to do with your job. Tina: He makes me too sad and angry to work! Boss: Would you be happy if I punished him for having an opinion? Tina: Would I be a bad person if I said I would?
Alice: Dilbert's problem is that he's a huge narcissist. Robot: You are not qualified to make that diagnosis and you cannot detect his inner thoughts. Alice: Open your access panel so I can fix your stupid opinion. Robot: Are you saying I don't have free will?
Dilbert: Yesterday I asked for clarification on my assignment. But your clarification sounded nothing like the original assignment. Boss: Sometimes it's good to get a second opinion. Dilbert: Not from the same person.
Dogbert the internet debate coach Dogbert: Always back up your opinion with links to articles. Asok: What if the only links I can find are from non-credible sources? Dogbert: I'll do some research. But I think that's the only kind there is.
Man: I told your boss I think your project is heading in the wrong direction. Dilbert: Given that you only know about 20% of what one should know to have an informed opinion on the topic, may I conclude that you are stupid and toxic? Man: You don't know me! Dilbert: I'm basing my opinion on the 20% I do know.
boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.
Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.
boss: get ted's input before you finalize the plan. dilbert: ted is the dumbest human being in the known universe. his opinion can only make things worse. boss: that's how we do it here. dilbert: i didn't realize it was a strategy.