Hope For Survival Comic Strips - Page 7
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Dilbert assembles an android and says to Dogbert, "I built this android from a kit." Dilbert continues, "He doesn't have a personality, but he will walk around and talk." Dogbert says, "Well, I hope you guys will at least dress differently."
Andy: Androids want to be like humans. Tell me what humans do. Dilbert: Mostly, they eat, sleep, and hope they don't die. Andy: That's it? Dilbert: Unless they find religion... Then they eat, sleep, and look forward to dying.
Dogbert sits across from a customer service representative in a bank. The woman says, "Well, Mr. Dogbert, what could I do to convince you to put your new wealth in our bank?" Dogbert replies, "Stretch your polyester pants over the top of your head." As the woman pulls her pants over her head, Dogbert says, "I hope money doesn't change me."
Man: I hope you'll date me now, Helen. I brought my resume as you requested. Helen: There's a little formula I use to calculate the ratio of your earnings potential to your height and baldness... Hmm... You pass. Of course, I'll still date other men too. Man: On different nights?
A man says to Dilbert, "I hope you won't mind my pillow and blanket at your presentation." The man continues, "The last time you presented, I lost consciousness and broke my nose on the table." Dilbert stands in front of a conference table. All of the people at the table are asleep. Dilbert thinks, "Whatever happened to good manners?"
Dilbert makes some adjustments to a vehicle that looks like a flying saucer. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "My hover-saucer invention is complete!" Dilbert continues, "It has enough advanced weaponry to destroy a small country." Dilbert says, "I hope it doesn't fall into the wrong hands." Dogbert thinks, "Paws."
Dilbert sits in his chair watching the television news. The newscaster says, "In world news, the tiny country of Elbonia has become a despotic monarchy." The news anchorman continues, "The new ruler is King Dogbert, who claims to be a descendant of the Elbonian Deity 'Doug.'" In Elbonia, Dogbert rides on the back of an Elbonian and hits him on the back of his head. Dogbert is wearing a miter and holding a scepter. Dogbert thinks, "I hope this doesn't go to my head."
Dilbert sits at a big desk and asks an employee, "Now that I'm CEO, what am I supposed to actually do?" The man replies, "You're supposed to make superficial statements about how good the company is, then hope something lucky happens and profits go up." The man continues, "It's called leadership, sir." Dilbert waves the man away and says, "Make it so."
Dogbert places a fishbowl on a table and thinks, "I hope Dogbert doesn't get jealous of my new goldfish." Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. He hears a toilet flush. Dogbert asks, "Have you noticed that Goldie was looking a bit depressed?"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dogbert asks, "You joined what?" Dilbert replies, "Mensa. It's a group of people with genius IQs." Dilbert continues, "I'm hoping it will be a good way to network and enhance my career." The garbage man says to Dilbert, "I heard you joined our Mensa group . . . I hope you can make it to the career expo."