Human Resources Comic Strips - Page 7
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Character
379 Results for Human Resources
View 61 - 70 results for human resources comic strips. Discover the best "Human Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday August 20,
2017
Tags human resources, certification, listening, corporations, business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Catbert: Don't bother me. I'm studying for a human resources certification. I already have my certifications for sadism and maniacal laughing. And, obviously, I have the basic HR certification for recreational downsizing. If you don't have that one, you can't even get a job in HR. But I need one more certification to make the big bucks. Now run along while I practice my joyless scowling. Dilbert: You talk a lot about yourself. Catbert: I prefer to think of myself as a non-listener.
Thursday September 21,
2017
Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes
Tags human resources, results, confidentiality, progress, business
Transcript
Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.
Sunday February 11,
2018
Tags hazmat suit, harrass, wear suit, harrasment, offcie, prevention, dressed up, human resources, inappropriate delivery, business
Transcript
The Boss: Dilbert, I need you to wear this harazzmat suit when you meet with Tina. Tina will also be wearing a harazmatt suit. The suits will prevent you from trying to harass each other. You won't be able to speak directly. A radio inside the suit will transmit your words to our human resources department. Human resources will scrub your sentences of any inappropriate content before delivery. Dilbert: Doyon wear a harrazzmat suit when you talk to Tina privately? The Boss: No, but she wears three of them.
Wednesday September 26,
2018
No Policy Against Lying
Tags Catbert, ted, evil, director, human, resources, lying, policy, checked
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources. Ted: Alice called me a liar. Catbert: What were you doing when that happened? Ted: Lying. Catbert: Maybe we should talk about that. Ted: There's no company policy against lying I checked.
Wednesday October 30,
2019
Microaggressions
Tags business, office workers, human resources, micro aggressions, hire, engineer
Transcript
catbert: someone reported you to human resources for all of your micro aggressions dilbert: what would be an example of one? catbert: it doesn't matter dilbert: it feels as of to should matter catbert: this is why engineers never get hired for human resources
Sunday December 01,
2019
Dilbert Murders Robots
Tags office workers, business, robot, technology, human resources, bad behavior, reboot, murder, plot, erase
Transcript
dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.
Monday May 18,
2020
Makeup Under Mask
Tags makeup, masks, offended, office workers, pandemic, human resources
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.
Saturday October 24,
2020
Lover Not A Fighter
Tags business, technology, software, price, lover, fighter, report, human resources, bully, sexual discrimination
Transcript
dilbert: i'd fight with you on the price of this software, but i'm more of a lover than a fighter. female software vendor: are you hitting on me? you'd better buy my software now, or i'll report you to your own human resources. dilbert: okay. okay. i'll do anything you want. female software vendor: wow. you were right when you said you're not a fighter.
Tuesday March 16,
2021
Catbert Keyboard Audit
Tags business, human resources, keyboard, audit, remote, workers, silly, laptop
Transcript
dilbert at laptop. catbert: human resources is doing keyboard audits on all remote workers. catbert: looks like you have a keyboard right there. catbert laying on keyboard: mmm-mmm! dilbert: will this take long?
Saturday May 01,
2021
Must Register To Date
Tags business, love & dating, managers & supervisors, company policy, human resources, new, dating, register, link, details, laptop
Transcript
boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.


