Idiotic Coworkers Comic Strips - Page 7
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85 Results for Idiotic Coworkers
View 61 - 70 results for idiotic coworkers comic strips. Discover the best "Idiotic Coworkers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 20,
2004
Tags absorb project, zombie employee, flakey, wide eyed, not helpful
Transcript
The boss: Dilbert, you'll absorb bills project when he transfers. Dont worry, He'll tell you everything you need to know. The whatchamacallit has to be whatever or else the who sits will go hey hey. Now this is either the budget total or a fax number. Its absolutely critical that you....um...I lost my train of thought. Dilbert: do you have a list of key contacts? That would have been a good idea. Dilbert: Can I call you if I have questions? You can try. I love my coworkers, until they talk.
Sunday September 12,
2004
Tags better deal, coworkers, hike jacket, lunch, miser salad, paying half, respected colleague, steaks
Transcript
WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.
Sunday October 24,
2004
Tags stress free, unrealistic beliefs, people care, stapler, steal, coworkers, budget numbers, lying, briefcase, coffe cup
Transcript
Asok: Wally how can you be so stress free? Wally: Its quite simple. Stress is caused by an unrealistic belief that people care about you, I, on the other hand expect pope to be like me. Lets visit ted and I'll show you how this works. Ted, do you have the budget numbers that you promised me? Thats next on my to-do lit. While he was lying to me, I told his stapler, so I came out a head. He forgot his mug, Im going to sip that puppy into my briefcase.
Sunday December 12,
2004
Tags cubicle vampire, happy coowrkers, in search of, talk, work related issues, life drained, gut instinct, you're hire
Transcript
Job interview "What's your biggest weakness." "I'm a cubicle vampire." "I wander the cubicles in search of happy coworkers." "Then I pounce!" "Then you suck their blood?" "That was the old way." "I talk about work-related issues until the life is drained from their bodies." "I'm going to trust my gut instinct on this. You're hired." "Have you met the new hire yet?"
Tuesday May 07,
2013
Tags annoyance, telecommuting, coworkers, casual inetractions, infected toe, photo of toe
Transcript
CEO: I canceled all telecommuting because there is so much value in having co-workers interact with each other in the office. Boss: Yes, it makes perfect sense. We want to get all of the value of casual interactions. Coworker: Do you want to see a picture of my infected toe?
Friday February 14,
2014
Tags anger, competition (psychology), employees, difficult coworkers, methods against me, need to know, counter neasures, learn tricks, business
Transcript
Alice: Can I sign up for a workshop on how to deal with difficult co-workers? People will be using those methods against me, and I need to know how to thwart their countermeasures. Boss: Will you leave my office if I say yes? Alice: Where did you learn that trick?!!
Friday September 12,
2014
Tags employees, learn from coworkers, busy worers, request, no one helps, learning, business
Transcript
Boss: Asok, the best way to advance your career is by learning as much as you can from co-workers. Asok: Can you show me what you are doing? Alice: Come back in ten years when I'm not busy. Asok: No one will help me learn anything. Boss: You learned that!
Wednesday November 12,
2014
We Will Never Forget Ted
Tags coworker, coworkers, death, tributes, morning, beloved collegue, never forget, medical
Transcript
Boss: We mourn the untimely passing of our beloved colleague, Fred. We will never forget him. Dilbert: It was Ted, not Fred. Boss: Was he beloved? Wally: I don't remember. It was like a week ago.
Friday May 01,
2015
Dilbert Offends Coworkers
Tags honesty, honest, truth, polite, politeness, etiquette & ethics
Transcript
Boss: I'm hearing reports that you have been offending your co-workers. Dilbert: By being honest? Boss: Yes. Cut it out. Dilbert: Okay, will do. And you believe me, right?
Sunday May 17,
2015
Tags flirting, romance, privacy, stalking, creepy, creeper, gestures, gifts, coworkers
Transcript
The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.