Search Results for "inventions"

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Brainstorm With Other Engineers

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Brainstorm With Other Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #product design, #managers, #marketing, #simplicity, #complication, #inventions, #ideas, #business

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Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?

Dilbert And Alice Add Features

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Dilbert And Alice Add Features - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 21, 2015's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #simplicity, #engineers, #complication, #complicated, #coffee, #mug, #overthinking

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Wally: Our boss asked me to totally ruin my double-handled coffee mug invention by adding features. I am asking each of you to suppress your engineering impulses just this one time and let this perfect product stay perfect. Dilbert: It would be perfect if it had wi-fi and a projection keyboard. Alice: Maybe add some health sensors and GPS.

Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation

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Wally Not A Fan Of Implementation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2015's comic on:


Tags #invention, #inventions, #design, #complication, #overthinking

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Wally: I asked the other engineers to help me develop my double-handed coffee mug invention. Now it is bloated with useless features and not dishwasher safe. Maybe you should cancel the project. Boss: Are you okay with that? Wally: I've never been a big fan of the implementation phase.

Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally

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Complexity Is A Good Thing For Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #technology, #inventions, #scapegoat, #excuse, #laziness, #work ethic

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Wally: People say the complexity of modern life is a bad thing. But for useless people such as me, it creates endless opportunities. Boss: Why aren't you done yet? Wally: My smartwatch was infected with ransomware.

The Boss's Wife

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The Boss's Wife  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 25, 2016's comic on:


Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #inventions, #engineering, #Women, #moods, #moody

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Boss: The Nobel Prize Committee nominated you for your block of wood that imitates human intelligence? I wonder what the block of wood thinks about that. Wally: It's in a bad mood and not talking. Boss: Did you model that thing after my wife? Wally: Now you've insulted it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #idea, #criticism, #inventions, #obfuscate

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Dilbert: And that is my idea for our new product. Are there any ignorant objections? Man: Your idea is totally ridiculous! It's like you're tying to build castles in the sky! Dilbert: Have you heard of Air Force One, the plane used by the president of The United States? That's basically a castle in the sky, and someone built it. Man: Well, if your idea is so good, why hasn't someone already done it? Dilbert: I'm guessing that everyone else had co-workers like you.

Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous

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Ai Too Stupid To Be Dangerous - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #intelligence, #inventions, #robot, #technology, #Lottery, #humans, #smart

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Wally: Are you worried that the A.I. you created will take over the world? Dilbert: No, I modeled it after human intelligence so it won't be smart enough. Robot: Buwhahahahaha! I will buy lottery tickets and use my winnings to take over the world! Asok: Good luck.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #business ethics, #construction, #inventions, #nature, #technology, #trees

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Dilbert: I invented a cost-effective product to harvest CO2 from the air and turn it into construction material. Asok: So...you invented a tree? Dilbert: What? Asok: Trees take CO2 from the air and turn it into wood. Your invention will compete with plants and trees for necessary CO2. It seems you have doomed all life on Earth. Dilbert: Not if people act rationally and stop removing the CO2 when...wait... You're right. I doomed the planet. Boss: I'll be dead by then, so ship it.

Co2 Scrubbers

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Co2 Scrubbers  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #earth, #inventions, #office workers, #plants, #technology, #humans

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Boss: Dilbert, I want you to invent a device that can scrub 100% of the CO2 out of the air. Dilbert: 100%??? That would kill every plant in the world. Do you know what that would mean for humans? Boss: Does the answer involve salad?

Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient

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Co2 Scrubber Too Efficient - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #earth, #mistake, #plants, #technology, #inventions, #atmosphere

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Dilbert: I've developed a super-efficient device that scrubs CO2 out of the air. But the user has to remember to turn it off after a few days or else it will remove too much CO2 and destroy all life on Earth. Man: Hey, who left this thing unplugged?