Its Been Nice Talking Comic Strips - Page 7
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411 Results for Its Been Nice Talking
View 61 - 70 results for its been nice talking comic strips. Discover the best "Its Been Nice Talking" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday July 05,
2014
Tags #inventions, #artificial intelligence, #software, #phb test, #hide, #html5, #talking, #engineering
Transcript
Dilbert: My artificial intelligence software passes the PHB test. That means I can hide it behind a curtain and people won't know if they're talking to a computer or a pointy-haired boss. Computer, what is HTML5? Computer: Beats me. Boss: I was going to say that!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday October 09,
2014
Tags #high five, #human resources, #managers, #work ethic, #trash talking, #emplyee, #boss, #desk, #practice, #cat, #human, #animals, #business
Transcript
Catbert: I'm getting complaints that you've been trash-talking employees' families so they'll spend more time at work. I stopped by to give you a high-five from Human Resources. Your aim is terrible. Boss: The first one was practice~
Sunday January 17,
2016
Tags #sexism, #sexist, #misogyny, #conversation, #talking
Transcript
Alice: You give Wally your full attention when he talks, but not me. You hang on every word the man says. But if I try to talk, you act distracted in five seconds. Wally gets more eye contact, too. You don't even look at me half the time I'm talking. Deep down, in your DNA, you know you are a sexist because you don't take me seriously when I speak to you. There is no other explanation, so don't insult me by trying. Dilbert: I give both of you the same amount of attention, but you spread it over more words. Alice: I hate both of you. Dilbert: Did I play that wrong? Wally: Yup.
Monday January 09,
2017
Punishment By Talking
Tags #deadline, #time, #time management, #managers, #perspective
Transcript
Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?
Tuesday March 07,
2017
Tina Won't Stop Talking
Tags #conversation, #company policy, #politeness, #etiquette, #time, #talking
Transcript
Dilbert: Our new politeness policy is having unintended consequences. I just spent four hours listening to Tina talk about hear health problems because the company says it is rude to just walk away. Wally: How did you escape? Dilbert: She had a health problem. I got lucky.
Friday March 23,
2018
No Good Ideas In Decades
Tags #ideas, #candid, #ageism, #conversation, #speaking, #talking
Transcript
Man: May I make a suggestion? Dilbert: Sure. Do you mind if I only pretend to listen because you haven't had a good idea in several decades? Man: That's fine. I was only looking forward to the part where I'm talking. Dilbert: Proceed.
Wednesday June 19,
2019
Did You Get My Email
Tags #business, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office, #talking
Transcript
the boss: did you read my email? dilbert: yes. dilbert: are you aware that email is a substitute for talking in person? the boss thinking: i thought i heard something about that.
Friday March 25,
2011
Tags #deception, #managers & supervisors, #learn from mistakes, #make alits, #wrong this year, #coincidence, #perfromance reviews, #management legends, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We can learn from our mistakes. Let's make a list of the things that each of you did wrong this year." Dilbert says, "It is just a coincidence that our annual performance reviews are due next week?" The Boss says, "It would have been the stuff of management legends." Catbert says, "Very nice try."
Tuesday February 15,
2011
Tags #business ethics, #program website, #collect browser hostory, #invent device, #sense of right and wrong
Transcript
The boss: How hard would it be to program our website to collect browser history from our visitors? Dilbert: well, first Id need to invent some sort of device that reverses my sense of right and wrong. The Boss: so...we we talking about a week ...or a month?
Thursday June 09,
2011
Tags #absent mindedness, #computers & peripherals, #unix servers, #new servers, #new names
Transcript
Wally: This week I renamed all of the Unix servers to make them easier to remember. In phase one, the new names exist only in my mind. I won't know if they're easy to remember until next week. Dilbert: How are the new server names? Wally: I don't know what you're talking about. Next week.