Keep Professional Comic Strips - Page 7
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Dilbert stands in front of the mailbox reading an invitation. Dilbert says, "Great! The engineer's ball is black tie this year." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I will be renting a tuxedo for the ball, and I would like it if you could keep any snide comments to yourself." Dogbert says, "Gosh. Even I wouldn't make fun of a guy who would pay sixty-five bucks to wear borrowed pants."
Dilbert sits at his desk using a screwdriver. Dogbert says, "You know, dogs can sense earthquakes before they happen." Dogbert says, "Here comes one now." Dilbert drops the screwdriver. As Dilbert hides under the desk, Dogbert says, "This has potential to keep me entertained for weeks."
Dilbert sits at the table reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Which would you prefer: winning a million bucks or getting hit in the lips with a dead mole while you sleep?" Dilbert replies, "Uh . . . The money." Dogbert says, "Well, that's too bad, because you didn't win a million bucks." Dilbert turns toward the reader and says, "That's the kind of hypothetical question that can keep you up all night."
In his dream, Dilbert floats in mid air. Dilbert thinks, "Ooh boy! Looks like another one of those flying dreams I keep having." Dilbert flies through the air thinking, "This is great! I just hope I don't crash and wake up this time." Dilbert is suspended over his bed on a pulley system. Dogbert holds the rope and says, "Houston, we are experiencing difficulty."
Dilbert walks away from the coffee machine holding a cup of coffee. Dilbert says, "Now for the hard part: getting back to my desk without third-degree wrist burns." Dilbert screams. Dilbert stands outside his cubicle rubbing his wrist after spilling the coffee on the floor. Dilbert says, "I don't care for the taste, but it DOES keep me alert."
Dogbert asks Dilbert, "How was your first meeting with the 'Perpetual Motion Club?'" Dilbert replies, "Great! I learned the secret handshake tonight." Dilbert sticks his hand out and says, "You stick your hand out and spin it around like this." Dogbert asks, "Then what?" Dilbert replies, "Then you just keep on doing it forever." Dogbert says, "That explains why you keep it secret."
Dilbert and Dogbert, who is wearing a magician's hat, sit on pillows with a glass ball between them. Dilbert says, "I don't understand how you can become a certified swami by mail in three weeks." Dogbert replies, "Oh, I'm just a trainee." Dogbert continues, "In the beginning you just keep it general, to build the trust of your clientelle." Dogbert looks into the glass ball and predicts, "Eventually, you will die . . ."
Dilbert stands in the kitchen looking at a grocery receipt and thinking, "Looks like they under-charged me twelve cents on the lettuce." Dilbert thinks, "I should go back and give them the twelve cents. But I'm sure they would tell me to keep it for being so honest." Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and the Ruler of Heck, shows up at the door and says to Dogbert, ". . . I have a report of a flimsy rationalization in progress." Dogbert says, "Try the kitchen."
Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert thinks as he reaches for the check, "All of us cosmopolitan guys use credit cards to pay for dinner." Dilbert looks at the receipt and thinks, "Uh-oh . . . I never know which part of the paperwork to keep. I know something gets ripped up . . ." Back at home, Dilbert says to Dogbert, ". . . And by the time I noticed the tablecloth was tangled up with the carbon paper, I had ripped both of them to bits." Dogbert asks, "And that's wrong?"