Killed By Sea Turtle Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for killed by sea turtle comic strips. Discover the best "Killed By Sea Turtle" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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"I'm debating on the Internet!" "Ha ha! I'm winning every argument by saying the same thing!" "What's that?" "'How would you like it if Hitler killed you?'" "Hey, I debated you last night!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computer software, #new software product, #google, #created product, #free, #buy in

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Boss: And we're going to bet the company on our new software product. Dilbert: While you were talking, Google created that product, gave it away for free, and killed it for lack of interest. Wally: Is it too soon to take back my fake buy-in?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #poor persons, #rich people, #invented ethics, #trash talk

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CEO: Did you know that poor people invented ethics to control rich people? Nice try, poor people! It's not working! If they haven't killed me by now, a little trash talk won't make any difference.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #computer programmers, #code mocking, #engineering tradition, #software project, #new engineer, #mock previous engineer, #engineering

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Dilbert: Are you coming to the code mocking? Asok: The what? Dilbert: Code mocking is an engineering tradition. It happens whenever a software project is handed to a new engineer. The new engineer is required to mock the previous engineer's work in a public way. We spectators get to vote on whether the old code is killed or spared. Coworker: Ha ha! His code is hilariously inefficient! Ouch. Chest pain. Dilbert: Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Coworker: Gaaa!! The code is offending my engineering sensibilities! It's killing me! Dilbert: I forgot to mention that sometimes the code wins.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secreatry, #booked flight, #smog, #hardened, #machete, #hack tunnel, #asthma attack, #treatment

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Carol: I booked you flight to the polluted capital of Albania. Their smog has hardened into a sold. use this machete to hack a tunnel through it. If you have an asthma attack the treatment is the same as for a sea urchin sting. YOu'll need to urinate on your lungs.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #woman, #confides, #sad story, #piano fell on head, #dilbert laughs, #killed brother

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Woman: I used to have a brother, but a piano fell on his head. Dilbert: Hee hee!" Dilbert: Sometimes I laugh at the wrong times.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newspaper, #scared, #praying, #stock broker, #sitting, #computer, #reading, #smiling, #technology, #Entertainment

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Carol says, "Your stockbroker is in the news today." The boss says, "Uh-oh." The boss says, "Please be because he won a humanitarian award?or he was killed by a celebrity." Carol says, "Ironically, several celebrity humanitarians do want to kill him now." The boss says, "Gaaaa!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #eating, #annoyed, #angry, #violence, #hitting, #punching, #arrogant

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The foodie with a huge forehead Man says, Mmmm, a pomme de terre frite with sea salt and just a hint of rosemary." Punch! Alice says, "That was a French Fry. And much like yourself, it was a salted."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reading, #guide, #Advice, #guilt, #annoyed

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Asok says, "According to the book of Wally, I should use something called 'Preemptive guilt' to avoid work." Wally says, "Exactly. If you wait until after you get an assignment, it is already too late for guilt." Wally says, "Stress killed both of my parents. The doctors said they worked too hard."q

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #complaining, #excuse, #meeting, #annoyed, #angry, #frustration, #business

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Ted the Drama queen Ted says, "I can't attend the meeting Tuesday because Barry thinks I didn't return his flash drive." Ted says, "I'm afraid of him because he's a liar and a drunk, and I heard he killed a cab driver." Ted says, "I'd wear a disguise, but prosthetic adhesives give me hives." Alice thinks, "Must...control...jack...hammer." buddabuddabudda