Search Results for "knowledge or skills"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.
61 - 70 of 233

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2000's comic on:

Tags #have none, #intern, #know how, #semi colons, #skills, #teaching, #tech suport, #useful skills, #cubicle, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 08, 2002's comic on:

Tags #interpersonal skills, #propaganda cd, #training cd, #intern, #looking for self imporvement

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says to Catbert, "I would like to improve my interpersonal skills." Catbert responds, "Take this training CD back to your cube and go wild." Asok sits at his computer in fear as the CD says, "Humans are weak. Computers are strong. Come, join our side."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2003's comic on:

Tags #homemaking skills, #marry a man, #garbageman, #present value cash flow, #comparison, #trained monkeys, #monkey surplus, #bobby upset

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 27, 2003's comic on:

Tags #network design, #local trees, #social skills

View Transcript

Transcript

Man; "I was an engineer before I got into marketing, so I have a few suggestions for your network design." man: "Get rid of this 'Cisco' doohickey, whatever it is, and put it in a catapult made from local trees." Dilbert: "Has it been awhile?" Man: "At least I have good social skills now, you dipweed.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2003's comic on:

Tags #make changes, #skills database, #know as guy, #avoid work, #too much work

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: "Wally, can you show me how to make changes to the skills database?" Wally: "I can't risk being known as the guy who knows how to edit the database." Tina: "Because?" Wally: "I barely have time to avoid the work I already have."

View more books now

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2003's comic on:

Tags #take training, #mismanagement skills, #awed, #send wally

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I desperately need to take this training. The Boss: we can't spare you. Send wally and have him tell you what he learned. Dilbert: Im awed by the sheer artistry of your mismanagement skills. The Boss: Thank you.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 11, 2004's comic on:

Tags #knowledge is power, #crush you

View Transcript

Transcript

Remember: Knowledge is power. "So never tell people anything because they might use it to crush you." "Do you understand?" "I'm not saying."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 1999's comic on:

Tags #quick question, #innocent work realted, #question, #try to impress, #knowledge of engineering, #pathetic hope, #value, #intelligence, #physical appearence, #red bmw, #lights on

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert peeks into a women's cube. Dilbert says, "Can I ask you a question?" She says, "I doubt it." She says, "Oh, sure it'll start as an innocent work-realted question." She says, "Then you'll try to impress me with your knowledge of engineering..." She says, "... in the pathetic hope that I value intelligence over physical appearance." She stands up and says, "Well, I don't!! I only care about looks!" Dilbert says, "Do you drive a red BMW? The lights are on." Dilbert sits in a robe on the couch. Dogbert says, "And you still tried to ask her out?" Dilbert says, "She's hard to read."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2006's comic on:

Tags #project wombat, #project manager, #inviting me, #expertise, #knowledge of expertise

View Transcript

Transcript

Yesterday I had a great meeting about Project Wombat. "What?!" "I've been managing that project for six months! How can you have a meeting without inviting me?!!" "Have you noticed that meetings go smoother without any knowledge or expertise?" "Kinda."

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 11, 2007's comic on:

Tags #knowledge, #authority, #make decsions, #misinterpret, #build

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Does anyone here have any knowledge or any authority to make decisions? woman: "I'm only here to listen and misinterpret." "Let's try to build on that."