Layoff Planning Comic Strips - Page 7

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114 Results for Layoff Planning

View 61 - 70 results for layoff planning comic strips. Discover the best "Layoff Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2000's comic on:


Tags #jruy duty, #what excuse, #happy to serve, #civic responsibility, #insanity, #good one

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Dilbert is sitting in the jury room with two other people. The man sitting next to him asks, "What excuse are you planning to use?" Dilbert says to the man, "I'm happy to serve. It's my civic responsibility." The man says to Dilbert, "Insanity; good one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new corporate policy, #boss reads, #alice, #falls asleep, #boring, #wordy dcoument

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The Boss comes into Alice's cubicle and says, "Alice, we have a new corporate policy." The Boss continues, "And I quote..." The Boss begins reading, "'Initiate the description for the criteria of requirements...'" Alice looks on as the Boss continues, "'...By developing a framework for the application architecture...'" Alice's eyes begin to droop and she thinks, "So tired." The Boss continues, "'Consistent with the planning corridor specified in our strategic initiative..." Alice's head rests on the keyboard and she is asleep. The Boss says, "Did you get all that?" The Boss goes into Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, come here for a minute?" Wally goes into Alice's cubicle with the Boss and the Boss holds out a piece of paper and asks, "Read this and tell me if she's doing any of it right now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 12, 2002's comic on:


Tags #moneybags magazine, #ask employees, #claims are true, #cover story

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Dogbert is sitting at a desk. Bob the Dinosaur approaches and says, "The reporter from Moneybags Magazine is here." Dogbert responds, "Send him in." The reporter sits across from Dogbert. Dogbert asks, "Are you planning to ask my employees if my claims are true?" The reporter replies, "Nah, too lazy." Dogbert says, "I credit my success to the foot massages I personally give to each employee." The reporter takes notes and thinks to himself, "Cover story!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2002's comic on:


Tags #work to death, #six months, #mentally incompetent, #remove name, #beneficiaries

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Headline: Estate Planning. Dilbert is in a lawyer's office. He says to the lawyer, "I expect to work myself to death in six months, so I need a will." The lawyer asks, "Are you mentally incompetent?" Dilbert responds, "I don't think so." The lawyer says, "Okay then, I'll remove my name from the list of beneficiaries."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 2003's comic on:


Tags #replace myself, #cheap elbonian labor, #describe appearence, #coffe mug

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Wally: I'm planning to replace myself with cheap Elbonian labor. Watch this: Turn around and try to describe my appearance. Dilbert: I see glasses...a coffee mug...and thats all, Wally: This will work.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 10, 2004's comic on:


Tags #evil director, #himan resources, #good bye party, #making t shirts, #last of cake

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert: We're planning a goodbye party for downsizes. Im making T-shirts so its easy to tell who the special guest are. Dilbert: I got the last of the cake. Im special.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 2005's comic on:


Tags #dinasaur, #body gurad, #carrot stick, #nap time, #dumb dino, #momentary

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"Bob, my boss might be planning to kill me. Would you be my bodyguard?" "I can't because I'm all busy eating a carrot stick." "How about after you finish it?" "You mean nap time? Be serious!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Welcome to Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar. "Don't tell anyone that you retired. Just keep coming to work and collecting money for the weekly lottery pool. Then spend it on food." "I want my dollar back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Dogbert's Retirement Planning Seminar "I'll show you how to spend your golden years on the golf course." "Get a job caddying for people who have better jobs than you." "Never pay rent again, thanks to the patented Dogbert breathing tube for sand traps!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Loud Howard returns "Loud Howard, I'm planning a reorg and I need you to..." "A REORG?" "...keep it to yourself." "CAN DO!"