Search Results for "lazy"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 03, 2010's comic on:


Tags #plan, #transfer, #missile guidance engineering division, #pour coffee, #face front, #unimportant tasks, #destroy, #fishing village, #lazy

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Wally says, "I asked for a transfer to our missile guidance engineering division." Wally says, "Once they get to know me, they'll only give me unimportant tasks so I won't accidentally destroy a fishing village." Wally says, "The great thing about unimportant tasks is that no one really cares if you do them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #avoid work, #lazy, #love, #crazy, #insane, #stalking, #old carpet, #married, #wide eyes, #relationships

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Carol says, "Wally, you helped me avoid work, and now I can't help loving you." Carol says, "I show my love by a combination of insanity and stalking." Wally says, "Aren't you married?" Carol says, "You owe me an old carpet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 23, 2010's comic on:


Tags #stern, #client specs, #lion pecs, #angry, #yell, #question, #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy

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Coworker says, "Wally, did you review the client's specs like I asked you to?" Wally says, "What?!" Wally says, "I thought you asked me to 'preview the lion's pecs.'" Coworker says, "Why would I ask you to preview a lion's pecs?!!" Wally says, "So... now you want me to question everything you say?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #mishear, #avoid work, #lazy, #no shame, #pour coffee, #budget estimate

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Dilbert says, "Rumor has it that you're pretending to hear things wrong to avoid work." Wally says, "It works great. The secret is to have no shame whatsoever." Coworker says, "Wally, do you have the revised budget estimate?" Wally says, "No, because you asked for a remized bugmet yestitet."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2010's comic on:


Tags #work-life balance, #lazy, #annoyed, #clench teeth, #angry

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Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 17, 2010's comic on:


Tags #meeting, #customer, #wear jacket, #lazy, #optimism, #business

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Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2010's comic on:


Tags #confession, #schedule, #calendar, #lazy, #self-esteem, #annoyed

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Carol says, "For the past five years I've managed your calendar based solely on what would create the least work for me." Carol says, "It all started when you told me to use my judgment to set priorities." Carol says, "In retrospect, you should have hired someone with low self-esteem."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2010's comic on:


Tags #skill assessment, #lazy, #bad worker, #morning person, #sleepy, #afternoon, #sell stock, #stand on chair

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Wally says, "I get sleepy in the afternoon. And I'm not a morning person." Wally says, "I'm at my best for about an hour in between, which explains why I'm an exceptionally good lunch eater." The Boss says, "How's the workforce skills assessment going?" Catbert says, "I just sold all of my company stock."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 26, 2009's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #lying down, #table, #reading, #agenda, #sleeping, #lazy

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Wally says, "Agenda items four through seven don't involve me." Wally says, "I'll use that time to take a refreshing table nap. Experts say it's good for productivity." The boss says, "I need to talk to those experts." Zzzzzzz

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 30, 2009's comic on:


Tags #typing, #lazy, #idea, #trick, #deception, #managing, #stupidity

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Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"