Leader Comic Strips - Page 7

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100 Results for Leader

View 61 - 70 results for leader comic strips. Discover the best "Leader" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 1996's comic on:


Tags #dogbert consulting comapny, #lead project, #bright enough, #bad attitudes, #no apparent reason, #introduce ourselves, #chummy with locals

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The Boss, Dogbert, Dilbert, Wally and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' to lead the project because none of you is bright enough." Dilbert looks angry. The Boss continues, "And you all have bad attitudes for no apparent reason; that's no way to be a leader." Wally asks, "Shall we go around the table and introduce ourselves?" Dogbert replies, "I don't get chummy with the locals."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 17, 1994's comic on:


Tags #vision thing, #boss, #visions, #donuts, #coffee, #big house, #servents, #over rated, #gardener, #everyone laid off

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The Boss: "As your leader it's my job to provide a vision." "But frankly, I'm not seeing anything." Wally: "Have another donut. Sometimes the sugar helps." The Boss: "It's working. I'm getting something, but it's fuzzy." Alice: "Quick! Try my coffee!" The boss: "Mmph!" "Oh yeah, there it is. Oh-oh-oh." "It looks like I'll be living in a big house with servants. And you'll all get laid off." Dilbert: "This vision thing is overrated." Wally: "So; do you have a gardener lined up yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #explains leader ship, #drawn to meetings, #bladder to brain, #impervious to logic, #coffee, #promited, #leadership is natures way, #removing morons, #start as morons

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Dogbert points to a sign that says, "Dogbert explains leadership." Dogbert points to a man who is wearing an untucked shirt and staring blankly ahead. Dogbert says, "Leaders start their careers as morons." The caption says, "They are drawn to meetings like moths to a porch light. The moron walks toward a conference room. Dogbert points to a diagram of a human body. He says, "The successful moron will have a very high bladder-to-brain ratio." The caption says, "They prevail in all decisions because they are impervious to logic or coffee." Dilbert sits at a conference table with the moron and another man. The moron says, "Let's do it my way!" The other man says, "Okay!" The caption says, "These qualities are perceived as leadership." The moron pours coffee on himself. The Boss tells the moron, "You're promoted!" The caption says, "After several promotions their job tends to match their talents." The moron tells Dilbert, "I award you this award." Dogbert says, "Conclusion: leadership is nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1996's comic on:


Tags #new manager, #keith, #masters in business, #motivating employees, #hire good people, #optional reading, #finance and economics, #alice

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The Boss says, "Alice, I'd like you to meet the newest member of my management team." The Boss continues, "Keith is highly qualified, he has a masters in business administration." Alice and Keith shake hands. Alice says, "Very impressive. They must have taught you a lot about motivating employees." Keith replies, "No, not really." Alice says, "Well . . . You probably learned how to identify and hire good people, right?" Keith replies, "That might have been optional reading." Alice asks, "Did you learn negotiation skills? Strategic thinking? Business writing?" Keith answers "No" to all three questions. Keith explains, "It was mostly finance and accounting. And economics." Alice says, "So, you're a highly qualified leader because . . . You're good at math?" Keith whispers to the Boss, "What should I do here?" The Boss replies, "In these situations I like to use swearing."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 25, 1997's comic on:


Tags #discouraged, #pointy haired boss, #pep talk, #dead end job, #grinding away, #high blood pressure, #stock options, #doctor kevorkian

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Asok, Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Asok says, "Lately I've been feeling discouraged about my job." Alice says, "You should talk to our pointy-haired boss." Wally says, "That'll cheer you up." Asok says, "Maybe you're right. All I need is a little pep talk from our leader." He leaves the room. Alice, Dilbert and Wally laugh. Asok sits across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "You think YOU're discouraged . . ." The Boss continues, "I've been stuck in this dead-end job for years, grinding away, day after day." The Boss continues, "And all I have to show for it is high blood pressure and worthless stock options." Asok looks frightened. Dilbert and Wally stand behind Asok's desk. Dilbert says, "It's so gratifying to watch them grow up." Asok says into the telephone, "I need the number for Doctor Kevorkian."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #greetings earthlings, #planetary annihilation, #break room, #new coffee stirrers

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"Greetings, earthling. I bring you either wisdom or planetary annihilation. The choice is yours." "Stay in the break room. I'll go get my leader." "Very well." "The new coffee stirrers are great, but I got the last one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2005's comic on:


Tags #project post mortem, #colossal ineptitude, #natural talents, #unfocused honest

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The boss: "The project post-mortem will only be helpful if each of you is honest about what went wrong." "Your colossal ineptitude as a leader suppressed our natural talents, leaving us listless and unfocused." "And by 'honest', I mean blaming people who aren't here." "Look! You're doing it again!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2006's comic on:


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I find it rather demotivating that you never praise me for a job well done. "You've never done a job well." "That's because I'm demotivated." "You have to go first." "Wouldn't that make me the leader?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 23, 2012's comic on:


Tags #fear, #managers & supervisors, #snake, #cublicle, #culture of fear, #motivate, #short term, #first step, #urinals, #electrified, #office plant, #pain, #tactics, #business

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Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Boss: Did you find the snake in your cubicle? Dilbert: What the...? Boss: I put it there because I'm trying to motivate you with a culture of fear. Dilbert: That only works in the short term! Boss: A leader takes the first step without knowing where the next step will be. So get to work, and by they way, one of the urinals is electrified. It's only set to stun, so don't be a baby about it. Wally: His office plant is clear.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #corporate yoga, #power poses, #realizing testosterone, #office, #cubicle

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Boss: What's this? Dilbert: It's corporate yoga. I'm using victory and power poses to trick my brain into releasing testosterone to make me more of a leader. Alice: I don't know what this is, but I want in.