Legal System Comic Strips - Page 7
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351 Results for Legal System
View 61 - 70 results for legal system comic strips. Discover the best "Legal System" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 30,
1997
Tags #security system, #cost fortune, #camera, #every room, #criminal activity, #fortress portected, #show kids, #stuff stolen
Transcript
Dilbert installs a panel on the wall. He tells Dogbert, "This security system cost a fortune but it's worth it." Dilbert says, "I put a camera in every room to deter any criminal activity." Dilbert says, "We may now go to the park knowing our fortress is protected." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. A man walks by carrying a lamp. The man walks by carrying a couch. The man walks by carrying the cameras. He thinks, "I can't wait to show my kids what I do at work." Dilbert says, "I can only think of one thing worse than having all of my stuff stolen." Dilbert says, "And that is having some of it returned." The thief walks by with the couch. He says, "This thing is hideous in good light."
Monday May 31,
1999
Tags #story ever end, #purchase silence, #fist of death, #two warning system
Transcript
Ted, Alice and Wally sit in a meeting. Ted says, "But then I.." Alice taps Ted on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me." Alice says, "Does your story EVER end? Or must I purchase your silence with my fist of death?" Alice walks out of the meeting with Ted's still stuck to her arm. Alice says, "I might have to go to a two-warning system."
Monday August 09,
1999
Tags #requirements, #documents, #guess weight, #multi user, #global system
Transcript
Wally holds a huge book. A woman smiles at him. Wally says, "Your requirements document is the biggest I've never seen." Wally shakes the book and says, "It's too big to read, butI can guess from its weight what miust be in there." The woman says, "You know it's multi-user. global system, right?" Wally says, "No, I'm not getting that."
Monday September 06,
1999
Tags #budget system, #under utilized mainframe, #obsoltete, #reality versus management
Transcript
The boss says, to Dilbert, "Move our budget system onto the under-utilized mainframe." Dilbert says, "It's under-utilized because it's obsolete." Dilbert thinks, "Reality versus mangement; who shall be the victor?"
Saturday November 20,
1999
Tags #hacker, #broke into system, #corporate startegy, #post it, #internet, #email address, #technology
Transcript
The boss, Dilbert, Alice and Wally are in a meeting. The boss is looking at a piece of paper and says to the group, "A hacker broke into our system and found out our corporate strategy." Dilbert asks, "Did he post it on the internet? I'd like to read it." Dilbert continues, "I'm also curious about my objectives for the year. Do you have the guy's e-mail address?"
Thursday July 06,
2000
Tags #filing system, #reorganized files, #stress is gone, #lulu, #meeting, #boss, #Dilbert, #business
Transcript
LULU: My project was in a death spiral. I leapt into action and reorganized my filing system. The Boss: Did that help? LULU: My stress is gone!
Monday January 01,
2001
Tags #topper, #top you, #ruins system, #can't go first
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss is with another man. The Boss says, "Dilbert, meet Topper. He's amazing." Dilbert looks at The Boss and a smirking Topper. The Boss says, "No matter what you say about yourself, he'll top it." Dilbert says to Topper, "How are you?" The Boss looks at Topper as Topper says, "I can't go first. It ruins my system."
Saturday March 17,
2001
Tags #operating system, #reboot, #mouse pad, #monitor, #incompatible mouse pad, #rebooting system
Transcript
DOGBERT'S TECH SUPPORT: Dogbert sits at his computer wearing a telephone headset. Dogbert says, "Your mousepad is incompatible with your operating system." The Boss listens on his telephone as Dogbert continues, "Try rebooting the mousepad. If that doesn't work, I'll call you back." Still on the phone The Boss asks, "How will you know?" and listens as Dogbert replies, "I'll watch you through your monitor."
Wednesday September 12,
2001
Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints
Transcript
The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."
Thursday September 13,
2001
Tags #accounting system, #dysfunctional, #meaningless, #payroll exppenses, #zero, #management genius
Transcript
Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Ed looks irritated. Asok says, "Your accounting system is so dysfunctional that the results are meaningless." Asok continues, "How is it possible that no one has noticed?" Ed replies, "I've always wondered about that." The Boss is sitting at his desk. He thinks to himself, "My payroll expenses are zero again. I'm a management genius."