Level Of Approval Comic Strips - Page 7

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142 Results for Level Of Approval

View 61 - 70 results for level of approval comic strips. Discover the best "Level Of Approval" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 23, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #respect, #prototype, #economical, #mental illness, #level conscious

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CEO: Your prototype will never economical. Dilbert: Certainty about the future is a sign of mental illness. CEO: Try to be more level-conscious. Dilbert: Yes, Your Highness.

Platinum Level Service

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Platinum Level Service - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #forecasting, #future, #predict, #industry, #blame, #sell, #upsell, #platinum

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boss: i hired you to predict the future, of our industry, but everything you say makes me sad. dogbert: don't blame me. i only predict the future. i don't make the future. unless you buy my special platinum level service. boss: nice upsell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 25, 2011's comic on:


Tags #human body, #medicines, #vitamin d, #inner glow, #vitamins, #minerals, #better than sun

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Topper. Carol: I'm in a bad mood. Maybe I need some sun to boost my vitamin D level. Topper: That's nothing. Exposure to my inner glow will give you a full range of vitamins and minerals. Dilbert: You're better than the sun? Topper: I don't quit just because it's night.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2011's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #meetings, #buddha jogging, #reliability stats, #data does not exist, #random numbers, #deep understanding of reality

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The Boss says, "Asok, get me the reliability stats for our previous model." Asok says, "I am fairly certain the data does not exist." The Boss says, "Wally can show you how to get it." Wally says, "Come with me." Wally says, "You start by typing random numbers into a spreadsheet." Asok says,"Then what?" Wally says, "Then you're done." Wally says, "All business data is intentionally misleading. I just take it to the next level." Wally says, "A deep understanding of reality is exactly the same thing as laziness." Asok says, "That can't be right." Wally says, "Have you ever seen a statue of Buddha jogging?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 18, 2011's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #discussion, #hijack conversations of subordinates, #imperious interuptus, #load and testing

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Dilbert: ... then we can do the load testing and... Boss: I'm invoking the right of imperious interruptus. In layman's terms, it is the right of all bosses to hijack the conversations of subordinates. I will now turn my back to you and speak with Alice as if you don't exist. Do not leave. Do not chime in, just awkwardly stand there. CEO: Imperious interruptus! Behold my power to make two underlings stand awkwardly while I hijack this conversation! Have you heard my speech about how we're not level conscious at this company?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #language, #thinking, #project management, #life cycle, #abtraction, #weightless, #management process

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Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #being a jerk, #big picture, #breaking up tasks, #emotionally gutted, #engineer, #engineers, #individual tasks, #losing will to live, #meetings, #personal life, #project plan, #rational plan, #sense of purpose, #engineering

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Boss: Any comments on the project plan? Dilbert: When you consider all of the tasks together, they form a rational plan. But our individual tasks are so far removed from the big picture that they are stripped of meaning. You've managed to remove all sense of purpose from my life. On an intellectual level, I understand the benefits of breaking tasks into small chunks. But you've left me emotionally gutted. As I read your plan, I'm losing my will to live. Boss: Can't you find meaning in your personal life? Tina: He's an engineer. Dilbert: Now you're just being a jerk.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1991's comic on:


Tags #blame, #budget, #Dilbert, #the boss, #empowered, #decisions, #employees, #calculated, #risks, #new, #Word

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and asks, "What did you mean when you said all employees are empowered?" Dilbert continues, "Does that mean I can control my own budget, make decisions without twelve levels of approval, and take calculated risks on my own?" The Boss replies, "No, it's just a way to blame employees for not doing the things we tell them not to do." Dilbert hangs his head and says, "No wonder you needed a new word."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #testosterone, #level, #tailgate, #problem, #trying

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Wally shows Dilbert a pickup truck and says, "Maybe it's because of my high testosterone levels, but I couldn't resist getting my pickup jacked up." Wally says, "I thought it would be more frightening to the people I tailgate." As he jumps into the truck and wiggles his legs, Wally says, "The only problem is that you can't let people see you trying to get in it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 31, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #man, #experiment, #volunteers, #laptop

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Dilbert sits outside the dome and types on a laptop, "Day one of the Bioworld experiment is off to a rocky start." Dilbert types, "The volunteers have no edible plants and the oxygen level is dropping." The volunteers hold signs that say "Help" and "Let us out." Dilbert types, "Fortunately, most of the volunteers are ex-car salespeople, so we remain emotionally uninvolved." Dogbert says, "Look how they spelled 'oxygen.'"