Living And Dead Comic Strips - Page 7

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263 Results for Living And Dead

View 61 - 70 results for living and dead comic strips. Discover the best "Living And Dead" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2001's comic on:


Tags #stock market expert, #core holding, #dead cat bounce, #secret economic model, #book sales, #financial markets

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Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert is seen through a TV screen. He says, "If your core holding is a falling knife, you can dollar cost average through the dead cat bounce." A man is watching TV on his couch. Dogbert's voice continues, "My secret economic model says you should change your cash allocation from 12.4% to 12.3%." Dogbert and the TV interviewer are seen through a spilt screen on the TV. Dogbert says, "My new book is, 'If you aren't churning, you aren't learning." The interviewer replies, "Don't come back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #latest assignment, #impossible, #slow speed of light, #perfect art, #human cloing, #eliminate garvity, #stop the sun, #reanimate dead, #impossible tasks, #change the world, #nature

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Dilbert hands a piece of paper to The Garbageman and asks, "Does my latest assignment look impossible?" The Garbageman reads the paper and replies, "Let's see... You'd need to slow the speed of light, and perfect the art of human cloning..." Dilbert asks, "So there's hope?" The Garbageman responds, "Eliminate gravity, stop the sun, reanimate the dead."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #rip out ego, #put in box, #rot, #dead, #envy dead, #career day, #afraid to work

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Wally says to two children, "Then they rip out your ego and they put you in a box until you rot!!" The two children jump back and exclaim, "Gaaa!!" Wally continues, "You'll never know if you're dead or if you're simply envying the dead!!" The children look terrified. Dilbert bumps into Wally while walking down the hall and asks, "How was 'Career Day?'" Wally responds, "Kids these days are afraid of work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #estate planning, #probate costs, #create living trust, #lawyers, #witty observation

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Headline: Estate Planning. The lawyer says to Dilbert, "You can avoid probate costs by creating a living trust." Dilbert replies, "So.. I can use an inconvenient system created by lawyers to avoid a worse system created by lawyers?" The lawyer points to his watch and says, "According to my watch, that witty observation cost you four dollars."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 21, 2002's comic on:


Tags #technically dead, #wasn't afraid, #life in cubicle

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Dilbert is eating lunch with Alice and Wally. Dilbert says, "Technically, I was dead for eight minutes." Dilbert continues, "I don't know why I wasn't afraid." Dilbert sits in his cubicle and thinks, "Oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 28, 2003's comic on:


Tags #new ad campiagn, #music from artsits, #willing to sell out, #dead musicians, #not descomposed

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Our new as caiman willies familiar music from artists who are willing to sell out. Due to budget cuts, we'll limit our search to musicians who are dead but not yet totally decomposed. MAKEUP!!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2003's comic on:


Tags #make exceptions, #created on seeing machines, #dead dinosaurs, #animal prodcuts, #naked, #electricity from oil

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Mike the Vegan. Mike: I use no animal products whatsoever! Dilbert: Your clothes were created on sewing machines that used electricity from coal and oil, and those come from dead dinosaurs. Mike: I need to start making exceptions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #co owrker, #favor, #being b=nice, #nick names, #spitting on grave, #not dead

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"Hey, Dilby, Dil-boy, Dilly-dally, Dilbo Baggins, Dill Pickle!" "I need a favor." "Does it involve spitting on your grave?" "I'm not dead." "Well then, I guess we both need a favor."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 24, 2012's comic on:


Tags #death & dying, #funerals, #ashes, #cremation, #scattered, #outer space, #elbonian general, #intercontinental missile, #burden on living

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Dilbert: When I die, I want my ashes scattered in outer space. Dogbert: Cool! I'll bribe an Elbonian general to strap you to their intercontinental missile when we test it next week. Dilbert: It's better if the dying and the ash scattering are separate events. Dogbert: Don't be a burden on the living.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 2012's comic on:


Tags #work ethic, #great managing, #engaged, #disengaged, #praise and recognition, #encourage developement, #important job, #opinions count, #prodcutivity, #drop dead, #learn and grow

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Wally: Here's a list of the twelve elements of great managing. If you do everything on that list, it will make me feel what experts call "engaged." If you fail to do your job properly, I will feel all disengaged and do poor work. This would be a convenient time to give me some praise and recognition. You might also want to encourage my development and tell me my job is important. Remember to care about me as a person and tell me my opinions count. If you do all of that, plus seven more things on the list, you might get some productivity out of me. Boss: Leave my office and drop dead. Wally: Will that help me learn and grow?