Local And Global Issues Comic Strips - Page 7
104 Results for Local And Global Issues
View 61 - 70 results for local and global issues comic strips. Discover the best "Local And Global Issues" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share June 23, 1995's comic on:
Wally is in Catbert's office. Wally says, "Mister Catbert, the company is trying to force me to use a different kind of computer." Wally continues, "You're the Human Resources Director. What are you doing to stop this religious persecution??! What ever happened to 'diversity??'" Catbert responds, "The longer you verk here, diverse it gets . . . Next."
Share September 12, 1995's comic on:
The Boss sits in front of Catbert's desk. The Boss asks, "I have to cut janitor expenses. Do you think I'll have any HR issues if I make employees empty their own trash?" Catbert answers, "We'll soften the bad news by simultaneously introducing a new employee fitness program . . ." Dilbert and Alice stand outside a row of cubicles. The janitor shouts, "Okay, everybody, it's time to trashercise!!!"
Share September 17, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert is scuba diving under the ocean. He photographs a whale and a squid. Dilbert thinks, "Wow! These pictures will prove that whales try to communicate with squids!" Back at home, Dilbert says, "Dogbert, guess who I saw talking to a squid." Dogbert asks, "Who?" Dilbert replies, "I have prints of whales." Dogbert thinks, "The Prince of Wales?" Dilbert says, "It's too bad I'm so modest. This discovery could make me famous." Dogbert thinks, "The public must be told." Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. A television newscaster says, ". . . And in the news, a local man has witnessed Prince Charles talking to a squid." Dogbert says, "Maybe Chuck thought it was Margaret Thatcher."
Share October 15, 1989's comic on:
Dilbert sits in his chair with Dogbert sitting on his legs. Dogbert says, ". . . Therefore, Curly must have been the smartest of all the Stooges." The telephone rings. Dilbert answers the phone and shouts, "I won WHAT?!!" Dilbert picks up Dogbert and cries, "I won the lottery! We're millionaires, Dogbert!!" Someone knocks on the door. Dilbert opens the door to a news reporter and a television camera. The reporter says, "Global News - may I interview you on your sudden wealth?" The reporter shoves a microphone in Dilbert's face and asks, "What would you like to say to the entire planet?" The caption says, "The wealth had come quickly . . ." Dilbert stammers, "Er . . . Um . . ." The caption says, "And just as quickly, it was gone." Dilbert says into the microphone, "Drinks for everybody!"
Share January 20, 1991's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock. Bob the Dinosaur enters the room and says, "Question . . ." Dogbert thinks, "Uh-oh." Bob asks, "Why do politicians lie?" Dogbert replies, "To get elected." Bob asks, "Oh, because people believe them?" Dogbert replies, "No, nobody believes them." Bob asks, "Why do they keep lying if nobody believes them?" Dogbert replies, "People wouldn't vote for them if they told the truth." Bob asks, "Okay, so people like lies and dislike the truth?" Dogbert replies, "No, just the opposite." Bob screams and runs away. Dogbert thinks, "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing."
Share April 03, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Remember everything I taught you, Ratbert. If you can pass yourself off as a corporate vice president, I'll win my bet." Ratbert stands on a desk and says to Wally as he walks by, "Yo, Headcount! If you have any issues, put together an action plan. Our people are the best. Don't spend money." Wally asks Alice, "Do you think he's really a vice president?" Alice answers, "Maybe. But I'm not ready to rule out 'annoying rodent' yet." In the background Ratbert says, "Quality."
Share February 07, 1993's comic on:
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. A newscaster says, "The budget for education was cut ten million dollars." Dogbert thinks, "Is that a big percentage? Does it make any difference?" The reporter says, "Congress considered a music safety law after studies showed a ten percent increase in piano-related deaths." Dogbert wonders, "How does that compare to other health risks? Should I be concerned?" The newscaster continues, "Lawmakers debated a bill to lower capital gains tax rates . . ." Dogbert thinks, "What do most economists think? Would it stimulate the economy much? Should I care?" The newscaster continues, "A new poll show that many voters have strong opinions on these issues despite the fact that we provide no useful contextual data." Dogbert walks away with his ears standing up. He thinks, "I've got to stop watching scary shows right before bedtime."
Share October 26, 1998's comic on:
Alice, Ted and Dilbert sit at a conference table. Ted says, "Thank you all for comimg to the meeting that has no real purpose." Ted says, "Maybe we could raise issues and then form action plans." Alice says, "I have an urge to stomp you to death." Ted says, "That's not very professional of you."
Share September 25, 1994's comic on:
"It has come to my attention that you used the fax for personal business." "I sent the fax during lunch. It was a local call." "You're using up all of our fax paper." "No, I sent a fax. The paper doesn't travel through the phone lines." "It doesn't?" "You used the company's electricity." "I had a friend fax us a wad of extra electricity." "I'm using it right now to power my pc." "Did you get any extra electricity? My pc is out." "Press the button on the back and I'll fax you some."
Share February 18, 1996's comic on:
Tags #project time line, #work portion, #meet with people, #competitive bids, #predictable behavior, #randomly reorganize, #department, #cut funding, #final phase, #death, #bitter and broken, #leaving building, #medical
Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dilbert works on a laptop connected to an overhead projector. Dilbert says, "Here's my project time line." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "The 'work' portion will take one week." Dilbert continues, "I'll spend three weeks meeting with people whom you send to me because you don't feel like talking to them yourself." Dilbert continues, "I'll spend eight weeks getting competitive bids from companies that I know I won't select." Dilbert continues, ". . . Six weeks to get the wisdom and approval of executives who are too busy to understand the issues." Dilbert says, "During that time you will randomly reorganize the department and cut my funding." Dilbert points to a picture of a man jumping out of a building window. Dilbert continues, "In the final phase I leap to my death, a bitter and broken shell of a man." The Boss asks, "Is there some sort of manager thing I should be doing now?" Dilbert replies, "If I time my leap right you'll just be leaving the building."