Lose Bid Comic Strips - Page 7

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116 Results for Lose Bid

View 61 - 70 results for lose bid comic strips. Discover the best "Lose Bid" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 1997's comic on:


Tags #policies, #use prodcuts, #will to live, #new corporate policy, #not intended to punish

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Wally, Asok and the Boss sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Our new corporate policy is that all employees must use the products we sell." Asok screams and shouts, "What have we done to deserve this??!!!" Asok asks Wally, "So you're saying that many of these policies are NOT intended to be punishments?" Wally replies, "You get used to it after you lose your will to live."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil director, #human resources, #deadlines, #embarrassing, #fuzzy, #laughed, #embarrasing, #business

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Catbert peers over the cubicle wall at Alice and says, "Alice you have to use your vacation time or you'll lose it." Alice grimaces as Catbert says, "But if you take time off, you'll miss your deadlines." Catbert laughs wickedly. Catbert walks away, his normally smooth fur is puffed out. Catbert thinks, "This is embarrassing. I laughed myself fuzzy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1998's comic on:


Tags #loans, #funding, #scam artist, #dogbert on tv, #people believe

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Dilbert is at home watching television. Dogbert's infomercial is on tv. Dogbert sits at a desk and says, "Would you like to make $1,000 per month for a whole year?" Dogbert says, "Send $13,000 for complete information about Dogbert no-load funds." An individual is furiously writing the information down as Dobert says, "I'll include my free pamphlet explaining how to lose weight by eating less food." The guy thinks, "Show the number."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #free, #therapy, #therapists, #psychology, #students, #self esteem, #ugly, #beer, #handsome, #mother, #overpriced, #unhappy

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Dilbert sees a sign that says, "Free therapy." Dilbert asks a woman at a desk, "Why is it free?" The woman replies, "Our therapists are first year psychology students." Dilbert says, "What have I got to lose?" Dilbert lies on a couch and says, "Sometimes I have low self-esteem . . ." A student sits in a chair taking notes. The man says, "Your problem is that you're ugly. You should drink beer until you feel handsome." Dilbert says, "I thought you would say something about my mother." The man replies, "Good point. Your mother should drink beer too. She's probably as ugly as you." Dilbert walks by the reception desk and says, "You're over-priced." The woman replies, "Ooh, 'Mister Low Self-Esteem' is unhappy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 1998's comic on:


Tags #digital archive, #worlds greatest art, #fix the errors, #artists, #errors, #too much blue

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The boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at the conference table. The boss says, "We won the bid to create a digital archive of the world's greatest art." The boss says, "This will give us a chance to fix any errors made by the artists." Wally says, "Errors?" The boss says, "For example, there was a guy who used too much blue for a whole period."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 1994's comic on:


Tags #promote district manager, #technical knowledge, #valuable, #no promotions, #promote al, #no knowledge al, #grumpy

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The Boss stands in front of Alice, Dilbert and Al. He says, "I need to promote one of you to the district manager position." Dilbert, Al and Alice look at the Boss. The Boss says, "Dilbert, your technical knowledge is too valuable to lose." The Boss continues, "Ditto for Alice. Neither of you can be promoted." Dilbert and Alice look angry. The Boss says, "The only logical choice is to promote Al because he has no valuable knowledge." Dilbert replies, "Al??! A director??! He doesn't know what day of the week it is!! The Boss tells Al, "They're just grumpy because it's Monday." Dilbert says, "It's Thursday."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 24, 1995's comic on:


Tags #take a contract, #please review, #copies, #original, #cannot approve, #obstruction of dogs, #fits any situation, #absurd logic

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Dilbert says, "I have to take a contract to our company lawyer. I need your help, Dogbert." Dilbert and Dogbert sit in front of a lawyer's desk. Dilbert says, "Please review this contract. I need it today." The attorney replies, "Give me all of your copies plus the original then go away." Dogbert screams, "Don't do it! He plans to lose them!!" Dilbert says, "Good dog!" The lawyer says, "Dang!" The lawyer looks at the contract and says, "I can't approve this. Somebody might sue us for no good reason." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "That's true with any contract. Isn't he using absurd logic?" Dogbert replies, "Let's find out." Dogbert stands on his chair and shouts, "Approve the contract now or I'll sue you for obstruction of dogs!!" The lawyer says, "Okay okay." Dilbert says, "Wow." Dogbert says, "The great thing about absurd logic is that it fits any situation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #address envelope, #death penalty, #helpless, #master plan, #one way trip, #solve small problems, #speaking engilsh, #training, #south korea

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The Boss holds a letter and says, "Carol, how do I address an envelope?" Carol, his secretary, sings, "I'll do it." Carol explains to Dilbert, "I'm training him to be helpless." She says, "It's part of my master plan to eliminate him." Carol says, "I do everything for him. Soon he'll lose his ability to solve small problems alone." She says, "Then I'll 'accidentally' book him on a one-way trip to South Korea." Carol says, "Before he goes, I'll tell him they have a death penelty for speaking English." Carol laughs a maniacal laugh and says, "We'll never see him again. Buwahaha!" Dilbert walks off and says, "It's worth a shot." The Boss calls from his office and says, "Carol, how do I dial for an outside line?" Carol says, "I'll do it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2001's comic on:


Tags #dating, #unattractive, #ugly, #woman fixes up, #project, #combover, #stay out of wind, #relationships

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Alice approaches Noriko who is sitting at her desk. Alice asks, "I'm dating an unattractive man. What should I do?" Noriko replies, "Every man is ugly until a woman fixes him up. Think of it as a project." Alice stands with a clipboard in hand as she lists her unattractive man's faults, who sits before her, obviously balding. She says, "Next, lose the combover, or at least stay out of the wind." The man asks, "How did you know about the combover?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #crossgrain on accounting, #system, #lose respect, #job security, #whole job, #accounts erceivable, #not expense, #no complaints

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The Boss has his arm around Asok. He says to Ed, "Ed, I want you to crosstrain Asok on the accounting system." The Boss continues, "And don't worry that you'll lost respect and job security if Asok learns your whole job in one day." Asok and Ed are sitting at a computer. Asok says, "I don't think 'Accounts Receivable' is an expense." Ed replies, "No one has complained yet."