Low Cost Comic Strips - Page 7
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290 Results for Low Cost
View 61 - 70 results for low cost comic strips. Discover the best "Low Cost" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday March 30,
1997
Tags #security system, #cost fortune, #camera, #every room, #criminal activity, #fortress portected, #show kids, #stuff stolen
Transcript
Dilbert installs a panel on the wall. He tells Dogbert, "This security system cost a fortune but it's worth it." Dilbert says, "I put a camera in every room to deter any criminal activity." Dilbert says, "We may now go to the park knowing our fortress is protected." Dilbert and Dogbert sit on a park bench. A man walks by carrying a lamp. The man walks by carrying a couch. The man walks by carrying the cameras. He thinks, "I can't wait to show my kids what I do at work." Dilbert says, "I can only think of one thing worse than having all of my stuff stolen." Dilbert says, "And that is having some of it returned." The thief walks by with the couch. He says, "This thing is hideous in good light."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Sunday August 31,
1997
Tags #make copy, #secretary, #more cost effective, #highly paid, #document, #high level plnning, #secretary takes lunch, #never makes copy
Transcript
Dilbert holds a paper and says, "I'll make a quick copy and then we can discuss it." The Boss says, "No, no. I'll have my secretary do that." Dilbert protests, "That will take longer." The Boss says, "It's more cost-effective." The Boss hands the paper to Carol and says,"We're highly-paid professionals. Carol is... well... I don't know if we pay her at all." The Boss says, "Now we'refree to do high-level planning." DIlbert says, "Um... we kinda need that document." Carol is in her cubicle and drops the document on a stack of papers labeled "Urgent." She looks at her watch and says, "Ooh, time for lunch." Dilbert rests his head in his hands and the Boss says, "So... do you fish?"
Sunday May 24,
1998
Tags #new customer, #top 5 compnaies, #low price, #high margins
Transcript
An employee comes into the Boss' office with a man and says, "I'd like you to meet our newest customer." The Boss says, "You won't be sorry; we're one of the top five companies in this field." The customer turns to the employee and says, "I thought you said no one else makes this kind of product." The Boss interjects, "No one else makes one with so few features." The employee grimaces as the customer asks, "So...your strategy is low price, right?" The Boss replies, "No, high margins!" The customer grabs the employee by the collar and begins to choke him, screaming, "YOU!!" The employee's feet are propped up on the Boss' desk as the Boss thinks to himself, "I'd better ask someone what a 'margin' is."
Friday January 01,
1999
Tags #morale is low, #managers bonuses, #big changes, #surevy, #tenth year, #employee satisfaction
Transcript
The boss sits in a meeting with Alice and Dilbert. The boss says, "For the tenth year in a row, the employee satisfaction survey says morale is low. The boss says, "Managers' bonuses are linked to these results. You can be sure we'll make big changes...." The boss says, "...to the survey."
Monday January 18,
1999
Tags #company resources, #build internet, #low job satisfaction, #outright theft, #sabotage
Transcript
Dilbert, Wally and the boss are in a meeting. Wally, still with his ponytail, says, "I used company resources to build my own internet company." Wally says, "Apparently my low job satisfaction bred disloyalty, which drifted into outright theft." Wally says, "Sabotage can't be far away."
Wednesday March 17,
1999
Tags #transfer sales dept, #scapegoat, #make useless pordcuts, #low sales, #good prodcuts, #perfect wrld
Transcript
The boss says, to the scapegoat, "I'm transferring you to the sales department, scapegoat." The boss says, "Then we can make useless products and blame you for our low sales." The scapegoat says, "Wouldn't it be better to make good products?" The boss says, "In a perfect world."
Saturday April 24,
1999
Tags #blame others, #Catbert, #evil hr director, #oversized head, #problem, #tight pantyhose, #low morale
Transcript
Caption: "Catbert: Evil H.R. Director" Catbert says, to Alice, "Alice, you blame others for your low morale." Catbert points at Alice and says, "BUT THE REAL PROBLEM IS YOUR TIGHT PANTYHOSE!!" Alice says, "I don't think so." CAtbert says, "Then how do you explain your oversized head?"
Wednesday June 02,
1999
Tags #kill coworker, #employee manual, #award for cost saving, #evil hr director
Transcript
Caption "Catbert: evil h.r. director" Alice sits in Catbert's office. Catbert says, "Alice, did you kill another co-worker?" Alice says, "Yes." Catbert looks in the Employee Manual and says, "But you did not discriminate, sexually harass, steal or take drugs. hmmmm.." Catbert says, "It looks like I have to give you an award for your cost saving idea." Alice says, "Thank you."
Wednesday August 25,
1999
Tags #bog stubborn, #dumb guy, #contract employees, #email, #bulletin list, #incremental cost, #agree with me, #our lives
Transcript
Caption: "Big stubborn guy" Dan says, "We should remove the contract employees from our e-mail bulletin list." Dilbert says, "Um.. they need that information to do thier jobs, and there's no incremental cost." Dilbert says, "This is when you agree with me and we move on eith our lives." Dan says, "I will fight you to the end of the earth!"
Monday October 04,
1999
Tags #young mans game, #low paid embryo, #already doing
Transcript
The Boss, sits at his desk and says to Wally, "Wally, technology is a young man's game." The Boss presents an embryo in a glass in his hand and says, "That's why I'm replacing you with this low-paid embryo." The Boss, off-frame except for hand and embryo, says, "Teach him to do what you do." Wally says, "He's already doing it."