Low Bid Comic Strips - Page 7
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205 Results for Low Bid
View 61 - 70 results for low bid comic strips. Discover the best "Low Bid" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 18,
2002
Tags #low morale, #monkey at zoo, #fling shit, #survey, #request for survey
Transcript
The Boss says to Carol, "Carol, put together a survey to find out why morale is so low." Carol responds, "Survey?!! You could ask any monkey at the zoo what the problem is." The Boss is talking to a monkey through zoo bars. The Boss says, "Do NOT fling that. I repeat..."
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Wednesday March 27,
2002
Tags #least expensive vendor, #requirements, #change mid project, #lowest bid, #fired later, #fired mid project, #outplacement service, #every sale
Transcript
Dilbert is meeting with a business associate. The business associate says, "We're the least expensive vendor unless your requirements change mid- project." Dilbert responds, "So... I'll get fired if I don't select the lowest bid, or I'll be fired later when the bills for change orders pour in." Dilbert says, "I prefer to be fired mid-project." The business associate replies, "We offer outplacement service with every sale."
Saturday June 01,
2002
Tags #defective copy, #employees still low, #low morale, #motivational book, #thinking
Transcript
The Boss says to Catbert, "I read this motivational book and yet the employees still have low morale." Catbert responds, "Maybe you have a defective copy. You should compare it to another one and see what's different." The Boss asks, "What if the second one is defective too?" Catbert replies, "Sheesh... It's like I'm doing all of your thinking here."
Monday June 03,
2002
Tags #need me, #page me, #soar flares, #low tide, #humidity, #equinoxes, #high tide
Transcript
Wally says to The Boss, "If you need me, just page me." Wally continues, "I'll cal you right back unless solar flares stop your page from getting through." Wally finishes, "And of course you'll have some blockage during the high tide, low tide, humidity, and most of your equinoxes."
Thursday January 02,
2003
Tags #dimwitted twins, #free long distance, #low cost video phones
Transcript
Dogbert: "My plan is to sell low-cost video-phones to dimwitted identical twins." Dogbert continues, "I'll even throw in free long-distance calling because that's the kind of guy I am." A man looks into a mirror and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! What are you doing at my girlfriend's house????"
Tuesday January 21,
2003
Tags #new tech lab, #pick contractor, #lowest bid, #force problems, #chance to gnaw wood, #beaver interview
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I'm putting you in charge of building our new technology lab." The Boss continues, "Pick the contractor with the lowest bid. I don't see any problems with that strategy." Dilbert is meeting with a beaver. Dilbert says, "So, your bid says you'll do the job for... 'A chance to gnaw on wood.'" The beaver responds, "Too high?"
Wednesday January 22,
2003
Tags #construction bid, #award for job, #team of skilled craftmen, #ex wife, #truck on fire
Transcript
Dilbert holds a piece of paper and says, "Your construction bid is the lowest so I have to award you the job." Dilbert asks, "When can your team of highly skilled craftsmen begin?" The beaver responds, "I'll call you." The beaver is leaning over a huge book titled, "Excuses." He says into the telephone, "Day one: My ex-wife set my truck on fire."
Tuesday August 12,
2003
Tags #budget request, #priority, #highest priority, #mockery, #low priority
Transcript
Asok: What is the priority of your budget request? Alice: Highest of the high. Asok: everyone rated their own budget needs "Highest Priority" It is a mockery f the priority system! Asok: Name one thing that everyone would agree is a low priority. Alice: whatever you're doing.
Tuesday August 19,
2003
Tags #huge galatians project, #disqualified, #one minute late, #future depends on win bid, #winning bid, #future of company, #can't be late, #line dancing sign
Transcript
"After months of work, I finished our bid for the huge galatikus project." "I'll deliver it to them." "If it's on minute late, we'll be disqualified. The future of our company depends on us winning this bid." "He must think I'm a... Whoa, what's this?" "Irish line dancing lessons 10% off."
Wednesday August 20,
2003
Tags #scolded by employee, #boss late, #dumb move, #irish line dancing, #mail document, #late bid
Transcript
Dilbert: "And you failed at your primary objective of winning a bid for the galatikus job." "That's because you said you'd deliver the bid on time, but you got seduced by Irish line-dancing lessons and forgot to mail it!" The Boss: "I can't believe you're trying to pin the blame on the Irish."