Low Performance Rating Comic Strips - Page 7

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326 Results for Low Performance Rating

View 61 - 70 results for low performance rating comic strips. Discover the best "Low Performance Rating" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #school for interpersonal skills, #Dogbert, #good relationships, #huge phony, #three fundamentals, #loud, #simple, #smiley, #low pressure system, #weather

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Dogbert stands at the front of a room and says, "The secret to good relationships is to be a huge phony." Dilbert and Wally sit in the class. Dogbert clicks a remote control and says, "Let's practice the three fundamentals." A slide projection lists, "Loud, Simple, Smiley." Wally shouts, "Hey, how about that low-pressure system, huh?!!" Dogbert stands on a stool and says, "Again, but this time say 'weather.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mail order bride, #elbonian, #expectations low, #avoid disappointement, #powder snout, #pig lady

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Wally opens an air mail package. He thinks, "My Elbonian mail-order bride has arrived." Wally unties the package and thinks, "I must keep my expectations low to avoid any disappointment." A pig wearing a dress and a wig stands in the box. She says, "Where's the ladies sty? I desperately need to powder my snout."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #annual performance review, #past two weeks, #vacation, #two weeks, #spread motivation

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The Boss hands Tina the Tech Writer a document. He says, "Here's you annual performance review, Tina." The Boss continues, "I focused on your performance for the past two weeks because I don't remember anything farther back." Tina screams, "I was on VACATION for the past two weeks!!!" The Boss replies, "No time to chat. I need to spread some motivation over here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #mutual fund, #past performance, #no indication, #future perfromance, #strategy, #entire investment, #personal expenses, #talking to wall

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Dogbert sits behind a large desk. He says to a potential investor, "As you know, past performance is no indication of future performance." Dogbert continues, "So my strategy is to use your entire investment for my personal expenses and see what happens." The investor says, "Has that strategy ever worked before?" Dogbert says, "Geez, it's like I'm talking to a wall here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #baseball, #forgeries, #low investment, #moses, #sports memorabilia, #worth something, #autographs, #Sports

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Dilbert sits in an easy chair using his laptop computer. Dogbert stands on a side table and wags his tail. He says, "I'm going into the sports memorabilia business." Dogbert tosses a baseball in his hand and says, "I've heard that most autographs are forgeries, so my initial investment will be low." Dogbert says, "Can I interest you in a baseball signed by Moses?" Dilbert says, "Wow! That's going to be worth something."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #performance review, #ding you, #keep informed, #peek at computer, #unread messages

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Performance review Alice is having a performance review. She says, "Alice, I had to ding you for not keeping me informed about your project." Alice says, "May I take a peek at your computer?" Alice says, "You have twelve thousand unread messages." The Boss says, "Well, it's a little late for that now."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deputy of common sense, #four hour meeting, #behind schedule, #agenda, #morale is low

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During a staff meeting, Dogbert stands on the table holding his gun and says, "FREEZE!!" Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and says, "You scheduled a four-hour meeting to find out why people are behind schedule!" The guy says, "No, look at the agenda! The fourth hour is about why morale is so low. A woman next to him whispers to Dogbert, Shoot him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #performance, #review, #process, #accomplishments, #cash, #value, #empowerment, #match, #motivational

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "It's time for your annual performance review." The Boss continues, "The process is the same as usual." The Boss continues, "Make your accomplishments fit the trendy categories on this form." Dilbert reads, "'1. Estimate the cash value of the empowerment you displayed this year. Cite examples.'" The Boss says, "Try to make your accomplishments match the raise I've already decided for you." Dilbert asks, "Why don't you just tell me what you've decided?" The Boss responds, "What - and ruin the motivational value of the process??" The Boss thinks as he walks away, "How did I get stuck with all the cynical employees?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low priced consultant, #reasonably priced, #roll around hamburger patties

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The Boss and Wally sitting at table. The Boss says I saved a lot of money by hiring a low-priced consultant." The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "These aren't the best recommendations in the world, but the price was very resasonable." Asok the Intern, Dilbert, Wally peruse the recommendations. Asok says, "I don't like this one about rolling around on unwashed hamburger patties." The Boss says, "Keep an open mind."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less perfectionist, #apathy, #low standards, #positive traits, #intrapreneurial spirit

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The Boss sitting at his desk while Alice stands opposite him. The Boss says, "Alice, you'd get more accomplished if you were less of a perfectionist." The Boss continues, "I've asked Wally to work with you - to teach you how to be less perfect." Alice says to Wally, "When did apathy and low standards become positive traits?" Wally, while sitting, responds, "I call it intrapreneurial spirit."