Lying Down Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for lying down comic strips. Discover the best "Lying Down" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits down, #male sinking, #bold leadership, #inspirational posters, #variety, #relevant nature scenes, #relate to scene, #seagull, #clam

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The Boss shouts at Wally and Dilbert, "Profits are down, morale is sinking; it's time for bold leadership!!" The Boss holds up some posters and continues, "So I got some inspirational posters featuring a variety of relevant nature scenes." The Boss shows the poster to Wally and Dilbert and says, "I think you can relate to this scene." Wally asks, "Am I the seagull or the clam?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #restaurant, #tipping waitress, #14 % tip, #service was excellent, #cheap, #lying, #unscrupulous weasel, #bad sevice

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Wally, Alice and Dilbert sit at a table in a restaurant. The waitress hands them the check and says, "Thank you. Please come again." The waitress thinks, "After I'm dead." Dilbert says, "If we each put in twelve dollars, that will give her a healthy fourteen percent tip." Wally says, "The service was excellent. I'll put in a little extra." Dilbert and Alice say, "Me too." Dilbert counts the money and says, "That gives us . . . Um . . . Only thirty-four dollars." Dilbert says, "One of us is a cheap, lying, unscrupulous weasel." They look at each other. Dilbert says, "Or maybe the service was bad." Wally says, "She didn't smile enough." Alice says, "Same as last week."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #lost forturne, #trophy wife, #valuable lesson, #wrote down

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Wally, without his ponytail, eats lunch with Alice and Dilbert. Wally says, "I lost my fortune and my trophy wife today. But I learned a valuable lesson." Wally eats his bannana. Wally says, "I hope I wrote it down somewhere."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #doctor dogbert, #marketimg, #elbow, #vote, #pulls pants down, #Politics

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Caption "Doctor Dogbert" Dogbert wears a crown and stethoscope. A fully clothed man sits on the examination table. He says, "I hurt my elbow, doctor." Dogbert says, "Let me see it." The man pulls down his pants. Dogbert says, "I recommend a career in marketing. And it's not a good idea to vote."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget calculated, #double check numbers, #mentally adjust, #huge mistake, #upside down nine

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The boss stands behind Asok who is at his computer. The boss says, "Do you have the udget calculated yet, Asok?" Asok says, "I need to double-check the numbers." The boss says, "Give me a copy now. I'll mentally adjust for the possibilty the numbers are wrong." Asok says, "Am I making a huge mistake?" The boss says, "This six is probaly an upside-down nine."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #almost back, #date, #attach tracking device, #run down alley, #leaves, #different opinions

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Dilbert walks along the sidewalk with a date. She says, "Well, we're almost back to my place." She says, "Thanks for the date. I can make it from here." Dilbert reaches out and thinks, "I'd better attach the tracking device." She thinks, "I'll run down that alley and hide until he leaves."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cube farm, #excellent yield, #put down, #reproduce

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The cube farmer walks through the cubicle and thinks, "My cube farm has an excellent yield this year." The farmer looks at Wally and says, "I reckon I'll have to put this one down so he won't reproduce." The farmer says, "Sorry." Wally says, "No problem; I hear that a lot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no money down, #plan to conquer, #designed, #sitting, #soft fur

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Dogbert sits in front of the television with the remote. The television says, "'In tape one, I'll teach you how to conquer a small island for no money down.'" Dogbert drops the remote in surprise as the television continues, "First, you must travel to the place you plan to conquer." Dogbert says to Dilbert, "I'm designed for sitting. That's why my butt is covered with soft fur." Dilbert sits beside him on the couch and says, "I think that's happening to me too."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #goal to motivate, #build global satellite netwrok, #feel sdifferent, #Right, #energetic feeling, #pinned, #burning couch, #dizzy, #budget cuts

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The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss hands Dilbert a piece of paper and says, "This is the goal that will motivate you for the next year." Dilbert reads from the piece of paper: "'Build a global satellite network. Budget: $12,000.'" Dilbert looks at the Boss and says, "Motivation feels much different from what I imagined." Dilbert continues, "I was expecting a light, energetic feeling." Dilbert continues speaking and illustrates with his hands, "But it's more like being pinned under a burning couch." Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Whoo, I'm getting dizzy." Dilbert stands up slowly and says, "I'd better lie down until the motivation wears off." The Boss leaves the room with Dilbert lying on the table. The Boss says, "He's going to be trouble during the next round of budget cuts."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hallway, #boss, #Dilbert, #tissue, #write down, #rips, #ink blot, #mishandled, #ignored

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Dilbert says to the Boss, "I need some management fire power." Dilbert begins explaining to the Boss, "The VP of marketing says we can't use the vendor we selected." The Boss fumbles in his pocket and says, "Let me write this down." Dilbert asks, "Do you want some paper?" The Boss replies, "No, I'll just use this tissue...oops." Dilbert continues, "Anyway, the other vendor can't deliver." The Boss continues to make a bess of the tissue. He says, "Oops." Dilbert stops and says, "I have some note paper." The Boss continues, making a mess, saying, "No, this is fine. Oops." Dilbert says, "All you have is a blotch on a scrap." The Boss replies, "It's more of a reminder than a detailed note." The Boss sits at his desk with several little scraps of paper spread out before him. He thinks, "Hmmm...It's not so useful when I put it with the others."