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The Boss, Alice, Dilbert, Sally and Albert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Let's begin by going around the table and introducing ourselves." Dilbert says, "I'm Dilbert. I've worked for you for five years." Albert says, "Albert, six years." Alice says, "Alice, I've worked for you for ten years." Sally says, "Sally, eight years." The Boss thinks, "I KNEW these people looked familiar."
Dogbert stands on a ladder and addresses a crowd. Dogbert says, "Vegetarians, we must march to the capitol to protest the killing of animals!" A man in the audience says, "That's a mile away." Another man asks, "Can we drive instead?" A woman asks, "Or maybe write letters?" Back at home, Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert stands on the hassock. Dogbert says, "Never lead a revolution of people who only own plastic and wooden shoes." Dilbert replies, "I try to avoid it."
Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I've received death threats because of my new patent. So I augmented our home security system." Dilbert continues, "The sidewalk is rigged to give an electric shock, thus disarming the intruder. Then a spring catapults him to the city landfill." Outside, someone screams. Dilbert and Dogbert look out the window and see several envelopes falling onto the sidewalk. Dogbert says, "The mail is here."
Dogbert and a man in a military uniform sit at the table. Dogbert says, "General, I don't understand why the government is trying to cover up all the U.F.O. encounters." The General replies, "People would lose faith in their government if they knew aliens were abducting people and we were helpless to stop them." Dogbert says, "So, to maintain confidence in the government, you use our taxes to kill the citizens who find out?" The General asks, "Is that so bad?"
A man answers his door and asks, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I have a Dogbert Insult-O-Gram from your ex-wife . . ." Dogbert says, "You're so ugly, weather satellites won't photograph your town unless it's cloudy." Dogbert says, "The smarter people recognize this as a tipping situation."
Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types on the computer, "This is Dogbert, with a broadcast e-mail message to all computer geeks . . ." A man reads Dogbert's message on his computer. The message says, "I declare myself to be your leader, and I name my empire the 'Virtual Electronic Nation of Dogbert,' Venod for short." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder and says, "I assume you'll be exploiting the simple people of Venod for personal gain." Dogbert replies, "Yeah, it's a leadership tradition."
Dogbert sits across from a man's desk and says, "I am Dogbert, leader of Venod - a huge collective of nerds. We demand twenty percent discounts on all of your products." Dogbert continues, "If you refuse, I will send a wireless e-mail message that instructs one million nerds to stop buying your products." The executive asks, "You're kidding, right?" Dogbert says, "There - I just sent them your daughter's phone number."
The caption says, "Ratbert's fate depends on the kindness of readers who are voting by electronic mail." Dilbert stands over Ratbert holding a rolled-up newspaper. Dogbert stands on the desk chair and looks at the computer. Dogbert says, "Don't worry, Ratbert. You won't get whacked unless people think senseless cruelty is somehow 'funny.'" Dogbert says, "Although I admit it would have a certain visual appeal." Ratbert yells, "You're not helping!!" The caption says, "Conclusion Nov. 29."
Dogbert stands on the desk chair. He says, "The e-mail votes have been tabulated. The will of the people is that Ratbert shall be spared from getting whacked with a magazine." Dilbert says to Ratbert, "I guess there's nothing funny about random cruelty." Bob the Dinosaur gives Dilbert a wedgie and says, "Right! Cruelty is only funny if administered in a proper social context."
Tina: "Dilbert, I'm forming a small clique of all the young, funny, single people in the department." "We'll have drinks during lunch, talk about ski trips, and have romances within the group." Dilbert: "Please...just shoot me now." Tina: "No, no...we need you to do our work."