Making Good Products Comic Strips - Page 7
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1000 Results for Making Good Products
View 61 - 70 results for making good products comic strips. Discover the best "Making Good Products" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday September 15,
1993
Tags #Dogbert, #blame, #consultant, #willy, #individual, #employee, #innovative, #products, #pioneer, #markets, #processor, #stinks
Transcript
Dogbert is hired as a blame consultant. Dogbert: The company's problems are your fault, Willy. You blame the senior executives, but it is you- the individual employee-who must build innovative new products and pioneer new markets. Willy: But I'm just a word processor I was hired to type. Dogbert: I've seen your typing. That stinks too.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Thursday January 06,
1994
Tags #boss brain, #profitable, #cut costs, #selling products
Transcript
"The boss's brain." "Hummm." "Theoretically, if I cut costs enough we'll be profitable without selling any products." "How do they get the ink in these things?"
Saturday January 29,
1994
Tags #less you know, #happier, #struggle, #computer, #naked, #clueless, #annoying, #feeling good, #technology
Transcript
RatBert: "The less you know, the happier you are." "While you struggle with that computer, I'm naked, clueless and f-e-e-e-ling good!" Dilbert: "You're really annoying me now." Ratbert: "Totally naked! Isn't that a hoot?"
Wednesday February 09,
1994
Tags #engineers, #good tatse, #home to change, #shut up wally, #casual dress
Transcript
The Boss: I realize that casual dress day isn't easy for you engineers.... The boss; But you've exceeded the bounds of good taste. Ive got to send you home to change. Dilbert: Shut up wally. wally: I heard they were back! I swear!
Thursday February 10,
1994
Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money
Transcript
The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"
Saturday March 12,
1994
Tags #rate of inflation, #Promotion, #net worth, #shopping cart, #aluminum cans, #all good carts
Transcript
Dilbert: "At the current rate of inflation, with no raises or promotions..." "Our net worth at retirement will be...a shopping cart full of aluminum cans." "We'd better do something." Wally: "I'm going shopping before all the good carts are gone."
Monday March 28,
1994
Tags #commercial prodcuts, #secret, #evoultion, #zimbu the monkey
Transcript
Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?
Thursday May 12,
1994
Tags #all assignments, #big binder, #same building, #president, #good word, #two good words
Transcript
"Ratbert the consultant" "It looks like you've all done your assignments for me." "Your input is so important that I'll have it put in a big binder in stored in the same building that your president works!" "And I'll put in a good word for you when I meet with your boss later today." "Wink, thumbs up" "How about two good words?"
Friday May 13,
1994
Tags #dogbert consulting, #liver, #slab of liver, #harvard mba, #good debaters, #brains wrapped
Transcript
"When I hired the 'Dogbert Consulting Company' he said his consultants were so smart they had to wrap their brains around their torsos." "But that looks like a slab of liver." "This slab of liver has an MBA from Harvard, you pointy-haired fool!!" "Wow, you guys are good debaters."
Monday September 19,
1994
Tags #big tech show, #curly haired guys, #salmon, #spawning opportunites, #vast sea, #indistinct products, #trade show, #facial hair
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm going to the big technology show. Dogbert: what do you do there? Dilbert: I will wade though vast sea of mostly curly haired guys with facials hair and glasses and I will look at thousands of indistinct products, Dilbert: Its like salmon returning to it birthplace. Dogbert: But without the spawning opportunities,