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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 27, 2012's comic on:

Tags #internet & world wide web, #ideas, #wine, #liquid lunch, #tweet, #down trodden, #sense of humor, #twitter, #cell phone, #office, #technology

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BAD IDEA Boss: I should drink wine at lunch more often. WORSE IDEA I'm in the mood to tweet. WORST IDEA I hope the down-trodden have a sense of humor.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2012's comic on:

Tags #twins, #branding, #meeting, #discussion, #brad, #brendan, #identical, #triplets, #business

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The Boss: This is Brendan and Brandon. They'll be helping us with our ranking. Alice: Im sorry, but I can't get past the ridiculousness of it all, Im out. The Boss: Do you get this a lot? Brendan & Brandon: Its worse when we bring Brad.

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 09, 2012's comic on:

Tags #business ethics, #employee parking, #inconvenience, #by design, #personal errands, #intention suffering

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Dilbert: The employee parking situation is terrible. I had to park a mile away. Catbert: That's by design. The inconvenience removes your temptation to run personal errands during the day. Dilbert: You're intentionally making my life more difficult? Catbert: What do you think management is?

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 16, 1989's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #bank, #business, #deposit, #money, #debt, #ethel

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Dilbert stands at a teller window at the Bank of Ethel. The teller says, "I spent all of your money. Terribly sorry." Dilbert says, "You what?!" Dilbert says angrily, "This is outrageous! How can you spend all of MY money?!!" The woman responds, "Oh, Mr. Moneybags, like it was SO MUCH." Dilbert puts his hands on his hips and says, "Oooh! I am ACTIVELY considering taking my business elsewhere!" The teller asks, "Are you making a deposit or just wasting my time?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1990's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #research, #exempt, #human, #laws, #crime, #owner, #held, #fully, #responsible, #selfish

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Dilbert stands in the kitchen making a sandwich. Dogbert says, "According to my research, dogs are exempt from human laws." Dogbert continues, "The great part is that I can commit any crime and my owner will be held fully responsible." Dogbert continues, "I'm hoping you won't take a selfish view about this."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 1991's comic on:

Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #employee meeting, #wilson, #recognition, #twenty-hour, #overworked, #success

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The Boss gestures toward an employee and says to Dilbert and another man, "I'd like to recognize Wilson for working twenty-hour days and making the project a success." The man says, "Thanks, but I'm not Wilson. He quit months ago." The Boss says, "Oh . . ." The Boss walks away thinking, "I've got to sop calling this the employee recognition program."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 09, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #faked, #hollywood, #minutes, #world, #news, #major, #stories, #string, #attached, #space, #shuttle, #reruns

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Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on the hassock. As they watch television, Dogbert asks, "How do we know that the news isn't faked in Hollywood?" Dogbert continues, "Why is there exactly thirty minutes of world news every night? And why don't major stories ever happen on weekends?" Dogbert points at the tv and says, "And I'm sure I see a string attached to the space shuttle." Dilbert says, "Worse yet, it's a rerun."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #Wally, #unnatural, #magnificent, #puppet, #buy, #us, #customer, #memorize

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The Boss says to Dilbert and another employee, "We're making a company commercial. Memorize these lines." Dilbert reads, "I'm Wally! I was specially bred to serve you and take abuse, O magnificent customer." Dilbert says, "It sounds a little unnatural." The woman reads, "I'm Raquel. I'll be your love puppet if you buy from us."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 1991's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #pencil, #excalibert, #sharpener, #corporate, #legend, #ceo, #grovel

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A man says to Dilbert, "You did it! You removed the pencil 'Excalibert' from the sharpener." The caption says, "As corporate legend required, Dilbert became CEO." Dilbert holds Excalibert and three men bow to him. The caption says, "He immediately set about the task of making important decisions." A woman hands Dilbert a list and says, "Here's the list of people who didn't grovel sufficiently."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1992's comic on:

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #played, #hideous, #prank, #laugh, #computer, #desk, #chair

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Dogbert enters and chuckles. Dilbert says, "Stop it, Dogbert! You're making that 'heh-heh' sound so I'll think you've played some hideous prank." Dogbert laughs harder and Dilbert thinks, "No . . . Not the maniacal laugh."