Management Is Incompetent Comic Strips - Page 7

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View 61 - 70 results for management is incompetent comic strips. Discover the best "Management Is Incompetent" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 1999's comic on:


Tags #management guide, #work, #bright enough, #decions, #randomness

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Dogbert sits at a table with the boss. Dogbert wears a turban. Dogbert says, "You must use the stars as your management guide." The boss says, "Does that work?" The boss says, "If you believe it works, then you're not bright enough to make your own decisions anyway." Dogbert wags his tail. Dogbert says, "So randomness is probably an improvement." The boss says, "Q.E.D."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1999's comic on:


Tags #risk management assessment, #no risk, #managemnt, #add anything

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Alice says, to the boss, "As requested, I did a "risk management" assessment." Alice points to a picture of the boss with a zero over his head. Alice says, "I concluded that there was no risk of any management." Alice says, "Do you have anything to add?" The boss says, "I'll get back to you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 23, 1999's comic on:


Tags #moral issues, #summarize, #appropriate categoires, #managers incompetent, #arrogant, #micromanaging, #msiogynists, #time of month

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Alice and the boss sit at a table. The boss has a lap top in front of him and says, "Tell me what moral issues you have. I'll summarize them under the appropiate categories." Alice says, "My managers are incompetent, arrogant, micro-managing misogynists." The boss says, "That's one under "time of the month."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #work all night, #finish prodcut, #random act, #management, #seem less random

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The boss runs into Alice in the hall. He cocks his arm and says, "Alice, I expect you to work all night to finish that project. It's vital!" Alice says, "Aagh!! I'm a victim of a random act of management!" The boss sits behind his desk, looks in a mirror and thinks, "I was sure the arm-pumping would make it seem less random."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 1999's comic on:


Tags #management book, #obvious advice, #quotes from dead people, #ganghi, #assert cart, #Dogbert

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Dilbert stands with a coffee cup behind Dogbert who wags his tail and types at his computer. Dilbert says, "What's your new management book about?" Dogbert types and says, "It's a bunch of obvious advice packaged with quotes from famous dead people." Dilbert says, "Did Gandhi really say "Get that #!% dessert cart off my foot!"?" Dogbert says, "He might have."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 1999's comic on:


Tags #compensation, #manage, #career as director, #conpsiracy, #incompetent emplyees

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Catbert stands on The Bosses desk and says, "Your compensation is related to the number of people you manage." Catbert says, "Likewise, my career as director of human resources depends on the quantity of employees." Alice and Dilbert look at a group of dumb people. Alice says, "It's as if there were a conspiracy to hire hordes of incompetent employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 1999's comic on:


Tags #new ceo, #turnaround expert, #pleasure to meet, #business process, #value based, #management method

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Alice, the boss, Wally, Asok and a new guy with big sharp teeth and horns on his head are in a meeting. The new guy looks like the devil. The boss directs evryone's attention to him and says, "This our new CEO. He has a reputation as a turnaround expert." Asok says, "It is a pleasure to meet you. Do you favor TQM or more of a business process approach?" The new guy replies, "I'm partial to the value-based management method." Asok says, "I'm not familiar with that one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 24, 1999's comic on:


Tags #turnaround ceo, #value based, #management, #perspective, #training dept, #exceeds cost

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A voice is asking the new CEO, who looks like the devil, "...From a value-based management perspective it's clear..." The voice is Tim who continues, "...That the training department's return exceeds the cost of capital... So please don't kill me." As Tim, barely in the panel is clearly off his feet, being tossed around, the boss says to Dilbert, "Okay, you're next... and begging doesn't work."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2000's comic on:


Tags #huge liars, #management in person, #dogbert investments

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Dogbert investments: Dogbert and Alice are in a meeting. Dogbert says: "Before I invest in a stock, I talk to the management in person." Alice says: "What good is that? They're all huge liars." Dogbert says: "You believe I really talk to them, right?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #employees fertilizer, #management, #organism, #plant, #survive and grow, #weasels, #dogbert consults

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Caption reads: "Dogbert Consults." The Boss is leaning back in his chair and listening to Dogbert who is standing on the Boss's desk. Dogbert advises: "Management is like an organism that needs to survive and grow." He continues: "Employees are your fertilizer." The Boss asks: "So I'm like a well-fertilized plant?" Dogbert answers: "No, and sadly, weasels don't need fertilizer."